During the early phase of my joining NIIT (or to be more specific, my being interviewed by NIIT), I was almost always interviewed by P. Rajendran (one of the three founders of the company) alone. The sole exception to this occurred when I was subjected to an interview by Vipin Mahajan, the genial (and quite totally insane, alas) head of NIIT's ASX-3 division.
NIIT's ancient custom of a meat list had been carried out once again. A list of all the potential new candidates (fresh meat) was passed out to all the Heads of Departments, who were given permission to attempt to sway these young innocents to their own cause. On the current meat list, I had fallen into Mahajan's grasp.
I walked into a tiny room which was mostly occupied by a gargantuan desk. Seated behind the desk was Vipin Mahajan, who jovially asked me to enter and take a seat.
"So let me tell you about ASX-3 !" he boomed. "I see from your recruitment profile that you want a job abroad, eh ? Well ... I don't think we'll be able to do that for you immediately in this Division. But wait, let me tell you a bit more about ourselves !"
"ASX-3 is a division whose main purpose is to break every job down to the most miniscule task. This way, we will be able to ... oh, let us say, we have a tough Systems Analysis job, okay ? Now normally, we would need an MBA like you to do such a tough job, but if ASX-3 succeeds in our task, then we will be able to break up that job into a series of steps so simple that anyone, even a programmer fresh out of an NIIT school, will be able to do that job ! Isn't that a great idea ?!" he beamed.
I privately disagreed with the idea of becoming a replacable cog as per Mahajan's statements, but sat quietly as he continued raving.
"We will need you to actually generate the process, to create the building blocks, but once that is done, the same job that would normally need you to do it can be done by anyone ! We could replace you with a fresh trainee from one of the NIIT classes !" he continued, brimming with enthusiasm.
I began realizing precisely why Mahajan had been assigned to ASX-3 and not NIIT's marketing wing. Mahajan would need much more sales ability if he was trying to convince a person that making his job obsolete was a great idea.
"So you can see why we need you here, and not abroad, huh ?" he smiled. "But don't think we'll keep you here forever !" he continued, seeing the marked lack of enthusiasm in my face.
"See, right now, we could send you abroad immediately from some other division, but we'd have to send you as a programmer !". He grimaced at the word.
"But give me some time to train you, and you know what ?! We'll be able to send you abroad as a Consultant ! Or maybe even a Systems Analyst !" he gleamed with joy.
"I ... see" I broke in. "And what kind of timeframe would this be ?"
"You will not get any respect if you go as a programmer, but if you come and let me train you, we will make you a Consultant ! That is a sign of respect, huh ?!" he cheerfully went on.
I drew the conversation back to my earlier question, a line of argument that he apparently thought most impolite.
"What kind of timeframe are we talking about before I go abroad ?"
"Uhh, well ... let me see ... we would have to put you through the intensive training ... and then, of course, we would have to send you in order of seniority ... after all, we cannot overlook our existing people, eh ?" he smiled.
"What timeframe ?" I persisted. He stopped his cheerful flow.
"Umm, well ... let us say ... hmm, and including that ... oh, let us say three to four years, all right ?" he replied.
Convinced that I was dealing either with a homicidal maniac or someone who believed me to be likewise, I began making preparations for leaving the room. Turning my back to him would probably be a bad idea, under the circumstances.
"Well," I continued politely, "if that's the case, I'd have to have a higher Indian salary, right ?"
"Ohh" he winced "I'm not in charge of that. You'd have to ask PR !"
"Whatever you say !" I beamed "I'll do that immediately !" and seized my chance to hastily leave the room.
I lost no time in getting out of the building before anything untoward happened. Mahajan, thankfully, saw no further prospects in me, and left me the tender mercies of TPX, which saw me swiftly headed towards Indonesia.
* * *
After some time in NIIT, I recommended a friend of mine, Shalini, to
SKG, as a potential candidate for NIIT, since I knew that she wanted
a job outside Nestle. SKG looked at me for a moment.
"Well, if you say so, she must be good. I will take your guarantee on
this. Tell her to apply to NIIT and I shall personally interview and
hire her ! I can have faith in you on this, no ?"
I assented, and passed the word to Shalini, who promptly applied.
Unfortunately, at this time, I had forgotten NIIT's normal recruitment procedures, and overlooked the vultures lying in wait for the meat list. Sure enough, Shalini fell into the clutches of that Master of Madness, the Manic Mahajan, who promptly took her interview. After a few questions to the lady, and looking over her bio-data a few times, he looked up with an expression of gloom.
"I see from your bio-data that you have three years of experience."
Shalini agreed.
"Well, you know" he sadly proceeded, "You actually have a different type of experience from the type that we're actually looking for. It's in a totally different area !"
He perked up a minute, as a ray of light pierced the gloom about him. "So I tell you what: for the sake of this interview, I'll be happy to ignore your present experience, although it would probably take you some more time in order to unlearn your past experience."
Shalini sat speechless, apparently dumbstruck by the magnitude of the favour being done her.
"So we'll take you in as a trainee, and just forget about your experience to date; does that sound good to you ?" beamed the happy Mahajan.
Shalini politely disagreed, and as several people before her had done, exited the room with the swiftest possible haste.
Much swearing and cursing followed, as she took me to task for passing her into the clutches of Muttonhead Mahajan, and despite all my protests to the contrary, refused to step foot in the halls of the Notorious NIIT again.
That's enough travel ... now let's head back home