Aziz presented a minor disturbance, due to his incessant praise of C++ as a language far superior to PowerBuilder in every respect (which begged the question of why he was working in PB, but that's a different story). He also showed a fascinating ability to plunge ever-deeper into trouble, largely by the means of promising the users several impossible things (all of which were to be provided in three days or less) at group meetings.
Not that he was without his good points: he induced a feeling of extreme relief and joy when he failed to show up for work one morning. When it was found that he had resigned without notice (an event which would normally be cause for concern on any project), the relief continued unabated.
The ever-blessed Sanjeev Puri arrived, followed in short succession by the estimable Charles. Charles hails from the same state in India as Rock Menon, but exceeds that other in several respects, a fact we were unaware of, due to his mild presence. The first signs of Charles' personality were made manifest one afternoon at the lunch table.
Another friend at table, Nelson, was discussing housing in the New
Jersey area, when Charles interjected a statement.
"Nelson, I would advise you to sell your house, and enjoy the money
while you can. That would be far better."
"But ... but ... what do you mean ?!" asked the startled Nelson.
"New Jersey real estate is a poor buy" explained Charlie "as it will be destroyed in three to four years anyway."
"Destroyed ?!" choked the alarmed Nelson "By what ?!"
"There will most probably be a nuclear exchange in 2000, and both New York and the Washington area are prime targets" explained the patient Charlie. "Naturally, your house will also be likely to be destroyed in the holocaust that will follow."
"Oh, come on now" smiled the relieved Nelson "You can't base your plans upon a possible conflict !"
"Not possible, it is definite !" insisted Charlie. "I have clear proof of when and how this will happen"
"What do you mean ?" asked Nelson, definitely astounded now.
"I have been reading the prophecies of Nostradamus and the Book of Revelations in the Bible" explained Charlie, "and putting the two of them together, you get a clear understanding of what will happen in the year 2000."
"You see, it is stated that at the millenium, the Great Beast will come out of the Middle East and be given command of all the Earth. This Beast will be Saddam Hussein, since there is no time for another such leader to emerge in the Middle-East. Since he will be given power over the world for seven years, he must take over the world, and he can only do that if he uses nuclear weapons and conquers America. So this will naturally mean that a lot of New Jersey real estate will be destroyed in the nuclear holocaust, and the rest will be rendered uninhabitable."
Charlie pondered this a moment. "I recommend you sell your house, and either enjoy the money, or buy another house in Florida. That area should not be affected so much by the holocaust."
"But of course" smiled Charlie "no area will be totally untouched."
Charlie had Nelson's complete attention by this point. He wove a spell of fascination around that hapless soul.
"Then will begin the torture" Charlie smiled gleefully. "Saddam will have seven years to test the faith of everyone on Earth, so naturally there will be a lot of torture in that period. This will be a good time for programmers; a boom time, in fact"
The group blinked. Despite being used to Charlie's rapid-fire changes of subject, this one had taken them totally unawares.
"Programmers ?! What the heck ... ?"
"Yes, of course, it is obvious" Charlie elaborated, surprised that such a logical notion had to be explained. "You see, if Saddam has to torture everyone in the world, he will have to keep that information on very large databases. So naturally, there will be a need for programmers to maintain those databases !"
I chipped in "Wait a moment, Charlie, if Saddam is indeed the Anti-Christ, then you'll be exposing yourself to total damnation by working for him, right ?"
"I will have to think over this" mused Charlie "It will be a boom time for this profession"
"Anyway, Saddam has already started giving out the Mark of the Beast." Upon seeing several surprised faces, he continued, "You do not know of the Mark of the Beast ? It is something that will be given out to mark the loyal subjects of the Anti-Christ. You can never accept it, else you will be condemned to eternal torture in Hell. They have already started its distribution !"
"Oh, you don't know ? Have you seen the bar code on supermarket products ?"
Several heads nodded. What did that have to do with anything ?
"The Bar Code is the mark of the Devil. You should never accept it, if you do not wish to burn in Hell" Charlie explained solemnly.
Privately thinking that Charlie's wife would have a terrible time shopping in supermarkets, the group let him ramble on.
* * *
Lest the gentle reader believe that Charles' strange beliefs extend merely unto Armageddon, let me remove that notion. Charles is a non-discriminatory, equal-opportunity believer. His current devotion appears to have shifted towards Islam, based primarily upon that religion's permission of polygamy, an experiment that Charles wishes to undertake. His first step in this bold experiment was to send several Valentines this February, to every woman he knew in the office. This has caused a vast panic in the office, which should hopefully die down soon.
* * *
Another fascinating occurrence took place when Charles decided that every event should produce an hourglass icon upon activation. Being a broad-minded soul, he decided not to confine this to large activations (like query retrievals) but coded it in to every single script of the code. This work was carried out with the same speed with which it was conceived; being such a simple concept, Charles decided not to trouble the rest of the team with any questions, and proceeded to complete the work himself. Slowly, painstakingly, he tracked down every script in the application, and coded in an hourglass activation. Which led to the interesting appearance of an hourglass with every single thing the user did, even so much as moving his mouse from one field to another. Charles spared no effort in comprehensively covering his task.
The users responded a trifle later in deep perplexity at the rapidly proliferating hourglasses, and a short investigation later revealed Charles' efforts. The next day saw an intensive effort in removing the effects of Charles' labour and returning things to normal. Charles remained unconvinced of the need for this, but agreed to satisfy the user in this matter.
Charles, one must admit, is an extremely good-hearted soul, who attempts to do his best for the company. However, his personal vision of what the company needs appears to be a trifle variant with reality. That, coupled with his close association with Murphy (as of Murphy's Law), tends to ensure an atmosphere of total chaos, which travels with him wherever he goes.
That's enough travel ... now let's head back home