Academy of Saint Gabriel April Fool's Letter 1998

Academy of Saint Gabriel April Fool's Letter 1998


Date: Wed, 1 Apr 1998 
From: bacchus@pobox.com

SCA: on
male: on
language: Scottish (I've read Scottish Names 101)
begin: 1400
end: 1470

I need help documenting the name Bacchus in Scotland. My persona is part
Byzantine, but lives in Scotland, so I need to include my clan name
MacLeod. My father's name is Rodrigo (my grandmother liked Spanish names),
so I guess I should be Bacchus mac Rodrigo MacLeod the Brewer of
Aberdeen. I'm also a brewer, as you probably guessed.

If possible, I'd also like to use the middle name B'ijik or something that
sounds like it. My persona is half Scottish Gaelic and half Klingon. My
grandfather was stranded in the Highlands in the year 1327 AD when his crew
mutinied. He found help from a druidic priestess who taught him Gaelic and
later married her and joined her clan, Clan MacLeod. Because of his
physical strength, he rose to be clan chieftain by the time my father was
borne. My father ran away from home and won a place at the Scottish court
as a bard, and his service to the king was rewarded by marriage to my
mother, a half-Gypsy Byzantine noblewoman. If you can help me design arms
to fit this persona, I'd be very grateful. I want to use a bat'telh
(Klingon weapon, picture available at
http://www.jwp.bc.ca/peregrine/qul/armory.htm), but I'd also like to
include a reference to the Clan MacLeod crest and something Byzantine.

Thanks in advance for your help! 



I'll just confine myself to the bits that its unlikely anyone else will be
aware of. Brewers in 15th century Aberdeen were nearly all women, and as
everyone knows, Klingon males (even if only partly Klingon) would not be
caught dead doing such female-identifed work. I suspect the Gaelic aspect
intensifies this shortcoming.

Affrick



Greetings from the Academy of Saint Gabriel.

You asked whether the name Bacchus mac Rodorigo MacLeod the Brewer of
Aberdeen would be a reasonable name for a Scottish-Gaelic Klingon with a
Byzantine/Gypsy mother around 1470.

I'm sorry to inform you that your name is not appropriate for a Gaelic
speaker. You see, there were two cultures and languages in Scotland
around 1470, Gaelic, spoken by Gaelic-speaking people, and Scots, spoken
by everyone else (except for the secret French, English, Norwegian,
Dutch, Gypsy, and Klingon enclaves imported when the Templars fled to
certain Scottish towns and established Free Masonry [which probably
explains the town construction methods]). 

Bacchus was, of course, the Roman god of Wine, Whiskey, and Revelry--it
was a common name in most of Roman Scotland from around 900, though it was
officially eradicated by John Knox when he drove the Catholics (who were,
of course, still Latin rite at that time) to the sea in 1576.  Therefore 
it is a good thing that you set your persona in the late 15th century; we
would not recommend this name for a 16th century persona.

According to a documentary on longevity in Scotland [1], there was a
certain Rodorigo who had extensive contact with a member of the Clan
MacLeod around your period. Aberdeen was also in existence at that time
(spelled variously Aberdean (1450), Aberdeen (1470), and Aberdeene (1480)
[2]) You should be aware, however, that Brewers in Aberdeen in your
period were almost universally women; your name would be infinately
better if you could either change your sex, or your occupation.

Records were written in Latin, so you would have had a Latin written
version of your name. Adding "us" to the end of each name should
produce a reasonable Latin form; we believe it would have been
reasonable for this form to appear something like this around your
period: Bacchusus Macus Rodorigus MacLeodus the Breweress de Aberdeenus,
pronounced \BACK-us-us VIC-us ROD-or-EE-cuss VIC-loud the BRU-ar-us de
AA-bar-DEEEEN-us\

As to arms, no Kligon was allowed to bear arms in Scotland (although
bear legs were common). Therefore, we recommend that your persona forgo
arms.

We hope this letter has been useful. Please write us again if any part
of it has been unclear or if you have other questions. No one will admit
to helping research and write this letter.

In Service,
Margaret Makafee

-------------------
References
[1] Highlander, a well known film.

[2] A private xerox of a transcription made by an anonymous member of
the Scottish Historical Society of Butte Montana, of alleged letters
written to Lord Darnley during his soqourn in Scotland by his lover
Catherine de Medici, now located behind a mirror in my grandmother's
house. (Privately Published, 1999)



On Wed, 1 Apr 1998, Gretchen M Beck wrote:
> I'm sorry to inform you that your name is not appropriate for a Gaelic
> speaker. You see, there were two cultures and languages in Scotland
> around 1470, Gaelic, spoken by Gaelic speaking people, and Scots, spoken
> by everyone else (except for the secret French, English, Norwegian,
> Dutch, Gypsy, and Klingon enclaves

Musn't forget the Zygons who brought the Lochness monster to Earth as an
alien embryo. They influenced Scottish Wicken-culture and basketweaving.

> Bacchus was, of course, the Roman god of Wine Whiskey and Revelry

Who was previously an aspect of the universal mother godess...

> was officially eradicated by John Knox when he drove the Catholics (who
> were, of course, still Latin rite at that time) to the sea in 1576.

Was this the same John who was John VI of Scotland and later John I of
England? [*real* source: "A Writer's Guide to the Middle Ages" (or some
such -- the SCA stock clerk was warned off this one]

> As to arms, no Kligon was allowed to bear arms in Scotland (although
> bear legs were common). Therefore, we recommend that your persona forgo
> arms.

Ah.... Farewell to Arms.

What kind of plaid did Kingon clans use in period Scotland?
Did they use their own urine to fix the dye, or did they rely on animals?

--Walraven



>What kind of plaid did Kingon clans use in period Scotland?
>Did they use their own urine to fix the dye, or did they rely on animals?

If by "plaid" you mean "clan tartans", may I remind you that Klingons
didn't use clan tartans (nor did any other folks in period Scotland) --
clan tartans were only introduced when some of those squiggly yarn heads
seen in "Voyager" were marooned in Scotland in the late 18th, early 19th
century. I'm sorry I can't remember the name of their race, but I'm sure
some "Voyager" fan out there will... [Keep in mind this is well after my
period, so I may be excused my ignorance.]

If you actually meant plaids (i.e., an unsewn cloak/wrap/shawl usually of
tartan pattern, though not of any particular tartan pattern, or the
material of which such were made), I expect there was no significant
difference in Klingon practice in this regard from anyone else.

Incidently, you can see the evidence of the different interaction patterns
in the vestiges of historical costume seen in future Klingon and squiggly
yarn head attire. While Klingons of the future will wear sashes of metalic
colours, squiggly yarn heads will be wearing sashes of tartan, indicating
that the Klingons had either left Scotland before the arrival of the
squiggly yarn heads, or had managed not to be taken in by the Lowland
romanticism that couldn't tell proper medieval Highland practice from alien
imports, and so avoided the association of specific tartan patterns with
any meaning. However, the use of sashes by both clearly shows that the
Klingons must have been in Scotland until the second half of the 18th
century, in order to have picked up the beginning of the process that, from
its origins in the top half of the now seperated belted plaid, eventually
resulted in the jaunty sash. Of course, this is just an aside, and this
last info needn't be included in the letter.

Effrick



> \BACK-us-us\

This is the Scoto-Klingon pronunciation, easily two hundred years too early
for the client's persona. We want the Early Lower Middle Gaelic
pronunciation, \BA%-us-us\. \%\ is a labio-nasal dentifricative. I
suggest explaining it thus:

\%\ represents a sound not present in any surviving human language and
known only to 127th degree Masons (Great Tremendous Exhalted Linguists).
We'll try to describe an approximation. Let \a:\ be the sound of the
<a> in <cat>, \kh\ the sound of the nasty, vicious <ch>
in <blech>, and \!\ the sound of a cork being pulled out of a full
bottle of Glenlivet. Fill your mouth with toothpaste and quack like a duck.
The result will very probably sound nothing like what we have in mind, but
we bet it'll be awfully amusing.

Arval



> \%\ is a labio-nasal dentifricative.

Insert lower lip in nostrils and grind teeth noisily.

Talan




> What kind of plaid did Kingon clans use in period Scotland?
> Did they use their own urine to fix the dye, or did they rely on animals?

They obviously used animals -- their urine is so strong it would have
 eaten holes in plant fibers.

sss

Miguel


Daniel de Lincoln wrote us years later to report:

The fanzine Ansible, issue 218, Sept. 2005, reporting on the recent World Science Fiction Convention in Glasgow:
A taxi driver quoted in the con newsletter marvelled: `I've just seen a Klingon in a kilt. You don't see that very often. Not even in Glasgow.'
This does not bode well for the continuance of Scotto-Klingon culture.
Talan found us a picture of the Scoto-Klingon in question.