All My Revelations


My IMHO Column for AllSoapScoops.com

So it's been a big month over in Pine Valley. Di told everyone she is not Dixie, and Ryan showed up at his own funeral. And EVERYONE is angry. Very very angry.

I understand why Ryan is front burner. Cameron Matthison is appealing and pectorally perfect, but his storyline is just hard to like. With Rebecca Buddig (Greenlee) leaving soon, I am not sure what Ryan's point will be anymore. Will Kendall conveniently miscarry the child she's carrying for Greenlee? I sure hope so. Someone was comparing Ryan's right to know to Miranda somehow and I kept thinking, "Please please please stop reminding us how compelling the show was just ten months ago." The only thing I found myself liking was JR taking a stick to Ryan, and believe me, I don't enjoy watching beatings on the soaps. I would watch GH more closely if that were my prediliction.

Ryan's funeral was ridiculous. He walks in at the pivotal moment and he and Greenlee went into a staring contest while everyone in attendance went into little monologues about miracles. Simone walked in with Ethan and commented that Ryan was "still a hunk" despite going over a cliff, and Ethan asked the only really important questions. Meanwhile, Ethan should be asking "What the hell happened to MY storyline?" AMC is off the charts when it comes to handsome hunks, but they are wasting them. Zack is chaste so far; Ethan was MIA all summer despite the promised fun romance with Simone, whom we DID see. Aidan is just a waste at this point. David hasn't been seen shirtless for quite a while. The only person getting any action is Adam; he just found himself married to Krystal. Even I have lost count--how many wives has he had? (Lessee... Althea, Erica, Brooke, Dixie, Natalie, Gloria, Liza, and now Krystal. That's EIGHT!)

Meanwhile, Di came out as Di, not Dixie, and everyone metaphorically lined up to throw tomatoes at her. It seems we only see James Mitchell (Palmer) at these free-for-alls. They make mention of Palmer being with Mary (Anna Stuart), but the lovely and talented Stuart has been MIA. Even with her daughter Greenlee going through one crisis after another. Mary usually shows up if only to be an irritant.

It's hard to see where Di is going to wind up in this canvas now, but the fallout of her perfidy is going to resonate for quite a while.

The wrap-up of the Dragon story has meant that Lamarr Rucker is gone, and
now Mimi is gone, and soon, Dani will have no storyline and Julia... what
is the point of Julia on the canvas without Maria? Yeah, I know that Sam
and Anita are family too, but ten years is a long time and throwing in a
lot of flashbacks of her with Noah proves that there is little holding the
storyline together here in 2005. It's a shame the Dragon thing wrapped up
so quickly and put so many fires out so soon.

I Wanna Be a Soap Star: How long will the contest winner be around? After the big reveal, that Di is not Dixie, he sort of disappeared. Will he be with us beyong the 13-week contract?

I Need Amanda Hug-and-Kiss: The re-writing of Amanda Dillon into a teen idiot rampant with sexcapades is not working for me. When we last saw Amanda, she was a level-headed kid. Now, SOD tells us that Kate Collins will be coming aboard for a short run as Janet. YEs, she created the role, but Robin Matthison made it her own and Janet had plastic surgery in prison, remember? The dismantling of the Dillon family was a soap crime--why pee all over its memory with this cheesy slutty character. It's annoying. Recasting Amanda this way is like recasting Harold the Dog as a Himalayan cat in heat.

Posted: Wed - November 2, 2005 at 01:00 PM        

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