We all know what a big mushpot I am. I cry at movies. I cry at TV shows. Harold the Dog went to Heaven on All My Children a few weeks ago. I watched those scenes (in which Kate Collins reprises her role as Natalie Marlowe Hunter Cortlandt Chandler Dillon, remarkable since the character died five years ago) three times over, to ensure a good cathartic cry. Fran Liebowitz says that comedy is hard because everyone's on the edge of tears most of the time. Making them laugh is a herculean effort. She's right. I even cried watching Deep Impact. Heck, I even cried when McDonald's had that commercial about the retarded kid who finds self-esteem working for the food chain. That commercial, in fact, clearly led to them only hiring retarded people.
So, it's no surprise that when I watched The Long Way Home today on the Sundance Channel, I was a complete basket case. It's a very moving look at the three-year trauma of recovering from the Holocaust and waiting for the birth of the State of Israel in May 1948.
Possibly the most incredible aspects of the story is the bricha--the arduous treks made by huge numbers of displaced persons, Jews all, who quite literally walked from Eastern Europe and other corners of the Continent, and found their way to Mediterranean ports, and got to Israel.
Here are some of the things the survivors said in this incredible
documentary:
"No one was going to do anything for us. We'd have to battle our
way out."
"The step after liberation is what to do next, where to go."
"Don't let them hypnotize you into thinking you're inferior."
"I felt like a rock, in the water, alone"
"Resistance was needed to show the world we wouldn't be impeded."
The survivors' needs were not understood. "They needed help, and
we didn't know how to help them." The pain of survival was almost too much
to bear for those left alive, with no one and nothing left to them.
Survivors lapsed into silence. People here in the United States didn't
want to hear about problems to which they couldn't relate.
"I was blind because the only light came from prison bars. I was
blind from their agony," said one observer.
If you are gay, these thoughts are very familiar. They reflect stigma and survival. The movie is an inspiring one. They mention that in Bergen-Belsen, where Jews continued to be housed after the liberation, there was a wedding every day. Let me repeat that: Every day. And subsequently, the DPs had the highest birthrates among them. They missed their parents and grandparents, their brothers and sisters, their cousins and friends. Even the people they never liked. Having children didn't replace the departed, but it was their revenge on Hitler. "My life is wrecked, but I'm going to live so my child can live."
It would trivialize the Holocaust to compare it wholeheartdly to gay issues, but at the core are two things: Loss and defamation. While the world says no to a lot of things we believe in, we can still say yes back to it. Look at the Gallucios, a male couple in New Jersey. They knew what they wanted and they just said "Yes" louder and louder, until they won the right to adopt their son Adam.
A few years ago, for no apparent reason, I walked from Sunset Park in Brooklyn all the way to the Brooklyn Bridge. The longest spontaneous walk I ever took. That was in 1990, but I remember it clearly. I was very good friends with MB and R and M back then. MB and I had a falling out; R and M I like but barely hear from. But compared to the memory of that walk, it doesn't matter. That day, I walked alone, felt like I accomplished something. Earlier that year I walked from Central Park West, down Fifth Avenue, and over to Hudson, in my first Gay Pride Parade. I walked in several since. I ignored a few also. A lot has happened between 1990 and today.
Having a goal is important. Walking toward it is important. Resting along the way might be necessary, but you have to keep walking. You might have people along the way keeping you company, and sometimes you will be alone. But remember, nothing happens when you just sit.
Ask anyone who was involved in creating the State of Israel, or who marched on Washington, or had a dream, and you'll understand. The longest walk is life, and it's worthwhile, if you have a purpose or just a dream.
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