It's all a coincidence, I am sure, that a big fat "gay scandal" was brewing in Great Britain around the same time I heard back from the third and final contingent of my British cousins, after my tell-all email in October. I was a bit nervous about this bunch, as they are the most religious. But my experience has been that it's best not to judge individuals by the groups with which they identify. As you will see, I am not the only one who thinks like this.
The big old scandal, perfectly racked muck by the conservative side British press, is that Tony Blair has some gay ministers in his cabinet. First, a cabinet member was outed by the press, then three others. There were cries of "are we being run by a Gay Mafia??
"IF ONLY!" (AbFab, Series 3, Episode 2)
If the world were truly run by a gay mafia, things would be a lot different, believe you me. I've been to Yankee Stadium during a ball game when it was half-full, and I was there for the closing ceremonies of the Gay Games IV, when it was a full house. I felt a lot more endangered when it was an all-straight venue, however underpopulated. You haven't seen good manners in action until you've seen 30,000 lesbians and gay men waiting patiently for access to the subway system. Not at all like the drunken louts in the former instance. But I digress... .
In the end, the press was pilloried. Polls showed that the British public cared a lot less about the sexual orientation of its ministers than the press does. Not only are the four ministers not a "mafia," but they barely interact regularly. Also, Rupert Murdoch, long known as a muckraker in the communications field, received a lot of bad press. In fact, one of the MPs is someone upon whose backing he's depending.
Funny thing about that outing business, huh? You just never know who's going to be exposed, and as what.
So, gay issues are in the press in Britain and on people's minds. So here's part of what my cousin N had to say, after a lengthy explanation of their computer's woes. (It's edited down.)
All of which is a very long-winded way of saying that we have not ignored your e-mail, nor, by not answering it, were we trying to send you any nasty messages.
The news item was about an MP (Member of Parliament) who has just been "outed" by one of the sleazier of our tabloids.
There has, as I am sure you can imagine, been heavy debate as a result of this.
Do MPs have the right to keep their sexual orientation a secret? Do the newspapers have the right to invade their privacy in this manner? and so forth ... .
I cannot understand the fuss, quite frankly. The man apparently has a mother in her nineties, who is unwell, and who did not know he was gay. That was why he kept it a secret. Personally, I find that piece of information the saddest of all. How dare the papers upset an old woman like that. He obviously kept it a secret from her, knowing that she would not be happy with the news.
How does being gay affect a man's ability to be an MP? There is some talk that being gay does affect certain aspects of an MP's life, because there are all sorts of debates at the moment about lowering the age of consent for gay couples to 16 (keeping in line with the age of consent for heterosexual couples - by the way, did you know that being lesbian in this country was never against the law - because Queen Victoria didn't think such "things" could exist!). Working along those lines, you shouldn't have Jews or blacks, in case you want to discuss discrimination. Let us not have those most affected by the legislation involved in discussion of it - or worse, in the vote itself!
We don't have to "approve" or "disaprove" of a persons lifestyle to think they can govern well (unless it is shown that there is something dishonest in their background), or to think they can be friends. Ours is not to judge others, except in that the actions of others can affect us.
N went on to say that while I might not have their "blessing" they are not making any judgements, either. While I, and other people in their lives, might not be following certain religious laws (gayness was likened to keeping the Sabbath and keeping Kosher, for example), this was not seen as a fit reason for rejecting those people from their lives and their homes.
This was basically the reaction I was expecting.
So I am still in the family. I was 99% sure I had nothing to fear. But you know, that 1% sure is a doozy! We've heard it before and we will continue to hear it: Coming out is a continuous process. Something else is also apparent. People will surprise you if you are open to discourse. That is, don't make assumptions. Being proven wrong is sometimes a delight.
I cannot imagine that things are going to be very different on my next trip. It's not like I will be swirling into town like a Pink Tornado or anything, but things, once again, are changed, however slightly, forever. Once again, it's for the better. There is something to be gained from trying to talk to people you might think are completely oppposed to you. It makes it easier when you meet the ones who truly are.
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