Not every day is very exciting. So I will let Quentin Crisp do the talking this time. Let me explain: Quentin Crisp was giving a midnight reading at the Barnes & Noble at 66th and Broadway. I met Tony there at 11 pm, since you have to show up early in this town if you want a seat. Much to my dismay, the podium, which was in plain view from every seat provided, was not where Mr. Crisp was seated for the reading, so Tony and I sat there looking at a pillar while the disembodied voice of Quentin Crisp spoke to us. Of course, we often hear the disembodied voice of Quentin Crisp, especially when I fondly remember his advice not to clean one's home--"Why clean? After four years it doesn't get any dirtier!"
Before I start quoting Mr. Crisp extensively, I must tell you all to go to smaller bookstores and only go to B&N only when necessary. They are basically an evil book empire. The employees are rude, also. When I complained about the pillar, they said, "We only have seats set out because we get a lot of elderly people here." How stupid do they think we are? Considering it's a free event, I spent $25 on two books by Mr. Crisp, $5 at the coffee bar, $6 for the post-midnight taxi ride, and $4 for the snack with Tony after the reading. I must say, 1 am is about the only time you are virtually guaranteed a seat at McDonalds without being adjacent to women screaming at their children.
So I spent about $30 at B&N and another $10 on what was essentially a free evening. I blame the system, frankly.
Here are some colorful quotes from Mr. Crisp.
"I've been here for 18 years. Someone said to me, `You decided to come here when most people go to a nursing home.' People are my pasttime. That's why I have to live here."
"Women do not dress to please men. They dress to annoy other women," he mused when he discovered that men rarely praise women for being skinny.
"I don't think anyone's ever come back alive from Avenue D."
"People forget everything except for what applies to them."
"As soon as you stand still on the Lower East Side, someone will come along and ask you to be in their movie."
On rejecting offers: "Saying you're not worthy means no, but it leaves people feeling happy."
"If you're Jewish, you have Jewish parents. If you're black, you have black parents. If you're gay, you're an orphan." He also said, "Your parents are not your friends." I don't agree with everything he says, mind you.
On his portrayer, John Hurt: "He's my respresentative on Earth. He's born to play victims. Caligula? Me in a sheet? Elephant Man? Me with a bag over my head. 1984? Most depressing film I have ever seen."
On going back to England for a visit: "Everything was different. Except for the pubs. Pub life never changes. You go to a pub to get away from all that progress outside."
Mr. Crisp turns 90 on Christmas Day.
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