From: efgriffith@aol.com (EFGriffith)
Subject: Open letter to alien entities
Date: 2 Jul 1997 18:35:12 GMT
Message-ID: <19970702183500.OAA21858@ladder02.news.aol.com>


To: The enitity or entities that sent us "John Grubor".
From: Planet Earth

On behalf of my planet, please allow me to be the first to extend
congratulations and sincere thanks for sending one of your representatives
to live among us. As you are no doubt aware, we have been anticipating,
even hoping, for such a "first contact" event for some time. Therefore, I
wish to applaud you for your efforts in that regard.

However, it would appear that your information regarding our planet and
its collective culture is somewhat lacking, based on the communications to
us by your representative. Obviously, you have been monitoring our radio
and television signals for some time (as such have existed for 50+ of our
"years"), in order to learn the predominant language, and something about
our culture. It would seem that your selection of materials upon which to
judge the propriety of your agent's actions are less than reliable. May I
suggest that, instead of the "Ren and Stimpy" cartoon series, and the
violent action-adventure series "The Untouchables", you instead
concentrate on "Meet the Press", "Nova", or "The Day the Universe
Changed". Also, please keep in mind that broadcasts of NAMBLA
documentaries are NOT at all representative of our culture.

While we appreciate your efforts at communication and integration of
inter-planetary cultures, we feel that it would be improper at this time
to engage in any long-term relationship with your world, based on the
actions and apparent misunderstandings of our culture by your
representative. We would not, however, rule out such a relationship in the
future. We would be pleased if you would remove your agent from our
planet, take the time to do more careful research, and contact us again in
25 years, so that we may again assess the prospects of large-scale contact
between our species.

Sincerely,
EFGriffith,
Planet Earth.