The last time I saw Law was a black night in September.
Autumn had begun,my knees were cold inside my clothes.
A chill fragment of moon rose.
He stood in my living room and spokewithout looking at me. Not enough spin on it,
he said of our five years of love.
Inside my chest I felt my heart snap into two pieceswhich floated apart. By now I was so cold
it was like burning. I put out my hand
to touch his. He moved back.I don’t want to be sexual with you, he said. Everything gets crazy.
But now he was looking at me.
Yes, I said as I began to remove my clothes.Everything gets crazy. When nude
I turned my back because he likes the back.
He moved onto me.Everything I know about love and its necessities
I learned in that one moment
when I found myselfthrusting my little burning red backside like a baboon
at a man who no longer cherished me.
There was no area of my mindnot appalled by this action, no part of my body
that could have done otherwise.
But to talk of mind and body begs the question.Soul is the place,
stretched like a surface of millstone grit between body and mind,
where such necessity grinds itself out.
Anne Carson, “The Glass Essay”