Well, The Daily Telegraph tells a little tale, titled, “Porsche and VW share row: how Germany got revenge on the hedge fund locusts,” and it is a happy, happy story.

You see the evil trolls, believing that the general downturn in the world economy would adversely impact profit numbers at Volkswagen, had shorted the stock heavily, to the tune of 12% of all shares in the company, but the princess, Porsche had quietly arranged to increase its equity stake in VW from 42.6% to 74.1%.

The German state of Lower Saxony owned 20.1% of the outstanding shares.

Well, 74.1%+20.1% gives you 94.2% of all shares outstanding, and so the short selling trolls had to fill their 12% from the remaining 5.8%, and fell upon each other, bidding VW shares up to unforeseen heights, from €210 to well over €1000, causing billions of dollars in losses for the trolls, and Porsche made a paper profit (they will never realize this money, because they aren’t selling) of £100 billion.

The trolls rent their garments and cried to the king (Bafin, Germany’s financial regulator), but the king would have none of it:

So should we lose any sleep over the fact that hedge funds have lost their shirts, or should we all indulge in a spot of schadenfreude? The answer, as we should know after months of financial turmoil, is that we are all, ultimately, likely to be losers.

The princess, Porsche, manages to trick the trolls, hedge funds, and lives happily ever after.