When I was a young lad, fresh out of college, I came across some bad influences in my life, and they introduced me to the Peeps^® sacrifice. (Hi Cris, Hi Tom)

The marshmallow birds were immolated with lighter fluid, dismembered with axes, run over by a 1973 Ford Malibu, and all manner of heinous violence was done against them.

When they brought me into their perverse observances, I had just one question, “Have you ever tried SolidOx Pellets?”

They knew not of this little bit of (now unfortunately discontinued) Hardware Store fun.

SolidOx pellets were (The product appears to have been discontinued) basically Sodium Perchlorate with some fiberglass and Manganese Dioxide to have them burn in a controlled manner. They were associated with an oxyacetylene (might have been oxy-propane) torch, and you were supposed to strike them like a match, and then toss them into a pressure tank, where they would supply oxygen, without the bother of actually storing pressurized oxygen.

What I had discovered in my teens was that they burn ferociously, making both much light and much heat along with the oxygen (and a fair amount of smoke).

The end effect is rather similar to what you see on shows like MythBusters when they work with thermite, and it will burn its way through relatively thin sheet metal, as many a destroyed cheap hibachi can attest to.

In any case, the “coven” of Peeps^® sacrifice knew not of SolidOx pellets, and thus I was their path to new enlightenment.

We applied the holy pellets to all forms of Peeps^®, as well as one rather ratty and very old pillow, which had through the juxtaposition of degraded stuffing and hair oils achieved a wondrously explosive finale (thanks for the Pillow, Diana).

Looking back on it, I’m surprised that I am typing this with all 10 fingers.

Please note that I have not been paid, nor receaved any products of schwag from Just Born^® or any of their agents, though, if they would like to send me some of their goodies, I would be most grateful.

The official press release from Just Born^® follows after the break.

PEEPS & COMPANY™ TO OPEN ITS FIRST RETAIL STORE IN NATIONAL HARBOR, MARYLAND – 07/14/2009

Bethlehem, PA, July 8, 2009 –Just Born, Inc., maker of PEEPS®, MIKE AND IKE®, HOT TAMALES®, TEENEE BEANEE® and PEANUT CHEWS® candies, is pleased to announce that it will open its first retail store, PEEPS & COMPANY™, at National Harbor, Maryland. In addition to its great tasting candy, PEEPS & COMPANY™ will offer an array of high-quality branded items such as apparel, gear, china and toys within a fun, branded retail location.

Slated to open this fall, PEEPS & COMPANY™ will be located at the very center of National Harbor’s dynamic main plaza and the branded environment will be custom designed by the Chicago Office of RTKL Associates, Inc. Directly in front of the PEEPS & COMPANY™ store is Seward Johnson’s famous statue, The Awakening, along with sweeping views of the beautiful Potomac River. The store’s location is at a converging point for residents and thousands of visitors arriving by metro bus, car, and ferries, which dock at the piers in front of the store.

In a joint statement, David Shaffer and Ross Born, Co-CEOs of Just Born, commented, “This is a momentous occasion for Just Born, our family of associates, and fans of our candy. For years, we have seen tremendous growth and excitement in our brands, and received many requests for a store in just the right location. In an extensive search, assisted by Cooper Retail Consulting, we selected National Harbor which promises to meet all of our needs.”

National Harbor: Rising from the banks of the Potomac minutes from Washington D.C. and just south of the Woodrow Wilson Bridge in Prince George’s County, MD, National Harbor is a 300-acre, mixed-used development that includes five hotels (including the Gaylord National Resort and Convention Center, the largest such facility on the East Coast), thousands of residential units, tree-lined promenades with scores of shops and offices, a marina and much more. Created by Washington, D.C.-area developer, The Peterson Companies, the project will command a mile and a quarter of the Potomac.