*Not my bon mot. That honor goes to Cthulhu at Short Skool Bus.
Year: 2009
We Didn’t Start the Flame War
A vid from Collge Humor dot com.
Let me just say completely NSFW….Very funny!
A Few Thousand Words on Teabagging
I really didn’t cover it, because I don’t do right wing agitprop, but these protest signs at the rallies are prize:
Evolution Disproved!
I just hurt myself laughing:
In a severe blow to the credibility of evolutionary science, biologist Richard Dawkins admitted today that Darwin’s theory of evolution could offer no rational explanation for the continued existence of creationists. The process of natural selection sees genes which provide an advantage in the battle for survival being preserved across generations, but scientists can find no useful purpose for the gene which leads people to believe that the earth was created in only six days about 10,000 years ago.
Solipsism as proof of Genesis.
The Easter Bunny Hates You!
No Easter Bunnius were harmed in the course of this production.
From the perspective of a Yid, I’m LMAO!
What is Wrong with the Village:
Dana Perino is joining Mark Penn’s PR firm, Burson-Marsteller:
Mr. Penn, the firm’s CEO, said Ms. Perino’s experiences in Mr. Bush’s second term make her a valuable addition to the team of battle-tested public-relations veterans he is assembling. Mr. Penn writes a “Microtrends” column for The Wall Street Journal Online.
Bull. She was clubbed daily like a baby seal.
This is all about the incestuous ways in Washington, DC, and I can think of no better illustration of why the town needs a good muck-raking prosecutor to clean it out.
Dutch Soft Pedal JSF Order
It turns out that the Dutch Government did not have the votes to buy two JSF test aircraft without a firm fixed price commitment (Yeah, what are they smoking?*)
They managed a compromise, in which they order the test aircraft, but defer the production order from 2010 to 2011 or 2012, when the price should be firmer. (Yeah, what are they smoking?*)
The problem is that the last sale was what was clearly a phony price (around $80m a pop), and the opposition expects massive cost and schedule problems….And they are probably right.
*Well, it’s Holland, so we have a pretty good idea.
Deep Thought
It is harder getting the tune of Weird Al’s Virus Alert out of your head than it is to banish It’s a Small World from your brain.
I’m ready for Vogon poetry for relief.
Light Posting for a 2 Days
Tonite starts days 7-8 of Pesach, so I will be largely off line until Thursday night.
NY Gov. Paterson Continues to Move Left to Shore Up Flagging Poll Numbers
Now he has announced that he will introduce a same-sex marriage bill to the New York legislature.
Much like the income tax hike on the wealthy, we now know that Paterson will do the right thing, if you are holding a political gun to his head, like being down by double digits in the primary and the general elections for New York governor in 2010.
Obama Plan to Nationalize Student Lending Meets Forces of Evil
Most notably Sallie Mae, which has a history of cheating students, bribing college financial aid officers, and contributing generously Congressional campaigns.
As Matthew Yglesias notes, the college lending giant’s “compromise”, would waste $17 billion a year as compared to direct loans.
Luckily, Obama can eliminate much of the fraud, waste, and abuse, by which I mean much of the private players in the student loan market, through executive orders, as well he should.
Another Chinese Move Away from the Dollar
China is moving away from settling debts internally in US dollars, as the cities of Hong Kong, Guangzhou, Shenzhen, Zhuhai and Dongguan will start settling trade in Yuan, as opposed to US dollars.
China is walking away from the dollar, and this implies downward pressure on the dollar in the longer term.
Prosecutors Seek Indictment Against Abu Gonzalez and 5 Others
Unfortunately, it’s Spanish prosecutors seeking criminal charges.
We need a criminal investigation of these folks.
Do I Look Like a F&^%ing Idiot?
Goldman Sach’s CFO, David Viniar, says that he is mystified at why people care about the dealings between AIG and Goldman, “They’re one of thousands and thousands and thousands of counterparties and the results of any trading with AIG are completely immaterial to what we do…I am mystified by this fascination with AIG.”
People are interested because you bought phony insurance contracts (CDS’s) from them, and when they imploded, you got the taxpayer to pay out at 100¢ on the dollar, creating yet another subsidy for you corrupt bastards.
Even people who don’t understand the whole picture, they know that this is corrupt, and that they are being stuck with the check for this.
Your claim that profits on AIG deals, “rounded to zero”, in 2008 is bullsh%$. In a fair system, your firm should have lost millions, if not billions, were it not for yet another subsidy of you corrupt losers.
Breaking News: Wall Street Salary Caps Drive Away Assholes!
From the ever reliable Andy Borowitz:
As the federal government moves to institute salary caps for Wall Street executives, an increasing number of assholes are seeking employment elsewhere, a study confirmed today.
According to the report commissioned by the University of Minnesota’s School of Business, at a time when the economy needs experienced hands at the tiller, some of the financial world’s best-trained dickwads are fleeing the ship.
….
I need a screen wipe.
Roubini: Stress Test Too Lienient
And 100% correct. The numbers now are already worse than the “worst case” scenario that the Treasury is using.
The Money quote is, “Conclusion: Actual macro data for 2009 are already worse than the more adverse scenario in the stress tests. These are not stress tests but rather fudge tests.” (emphasis original)
I agree.
Celebrity Update
Phil Spector was found guilty of Lana Clarkson’s death, and Ivory Snow girl, and pr0n superstar, Marilyn Chambers died at 56.
They are both sad. 56 is young to die, and Spector has clearly been profoundly mentally ill for years.
Because he is, well, Phil Spector, people let it pass, and he never got the help that he needed.
TARP Overseer Stonewalled on Stress Test Details
This is getting way out of hand, and someone needs to go postal on everyone involved in this process:
There’s a major problem and a minor problem. The minor problem is documentation. I’ve spent four weeks now looking for someone who can give me the details of the stress test so that we can do an independent evaluation of whether the stress test is any good.
We get: “someone will call [you] right back.” Only the call doesn’t come.
Hopefully, this will improve with Kashkari’s replacement, but my guess is that this comes from Geithner, not Kashkari.
Adventures in Bad Marketing
Pfizer sent Viagra® boxer shorts as a freebie to Irish doctors.
It’s a good thing that it wasn’t Burger King sending out Home of the Whopper® thongs.
If anyone finds a pic out there, email me a link to the pic.
Those Good Bank Numbers Aren’t, and Other Bank Shenanigans
Goldman Sachs, as I mentioned yesterday, is looking to sell shares to pay off the TARP, which is made easier by their recent profit numbers.
How did they make those numbers, it turns out that they put their losses into December, and then dropped the month from their quarterly results
Goldman’s 2008 fiscal year ended Nov. 30. This year the company is switching to a calendar year. The leaves December as an orphan month, one that will be largely ignored. In Goldman’s earnings statement, and in most of the news reports, the quarter ended March 31 is compared to the quarter last year that ended in February.
The orphan month featured — surprise — lots of write-offs. The pretax loss was $1.3 billion, and the after-tax loss was $780 million.
How remarkably convenient.
Then we have Wells Fargo, which also announced good quarterly results, and now analysts are saying that losses uncovered in the stress test will uncover $120 billion in losses, and require that $50 billion in capital be raised.
But wait, there’s more, as other analysts are saying that Bank of America is likely seriously short on capital, and will need to dilute its shareholders stocks.
Finally, because they haven’t boned the taxpayer enough, Citigroup is looking to cut its conversion ratio, the rate at which it is planning to convert its preferred stock to common stock, and the largest preferred shareholders is, you guessed it, the American taxpayer, because the share price for the common stock has gone from about 98¢ to $3.97/share when I checked the number today.
Timothy “Eddie Haskell” Geithner should go tell Citi CEO Vikram Pandit to go Cheney himself, but he won’t because, he’s is the big bankers’ bitch.