After reading a bunch of threads about Obama federalizing the National Guard (it’s somehow connected to the FEMA camps), giving Interpol absolute and unquestionable power on American soils, and the fact that Obama’s name is really “Steve,” I have discovered what people do when they’re too old to masturbate.

And I have made a vow to exercise and eat my vegetables so that it never happens to me.

— Oggie at the Shortskoolbus BBS

Well, that explains my liberalism, and my strong right hand.