Paul La Monica does it again in his Panglossian pursuit of reasons for investors to reasons to reenter the market.

So, his advice to investors is to masturbate:

Investors need to follow the immortal words of the 80’s one-hit wonder Frankie Goes to Hollywood: Relax.

What? You mean that Mr. La Monica doesn’t know that the song was about masturbation?

<Facepalm>