Just when you thought that the FIFA scandal could get any more surreal, or more pathetic, one of the FIFI officials accused of bribery and money laundering has cited an article from The Onion to defend himself from the charges:

Jack Warner, a former vice president of FIFA, was arrested last week in connection with a sweeping United States Justice Department investigation that slapped 14 bigwigs with charges of racketeering, wire fraud and money laundering.

Warner, apparently unfamiliar with The Onion, defended himself against these charges Sunday by holding up an article from the news satire website — “FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup in the United States” — stating that “all this has stemmed from the failed U.S. bid to host the World Cup.”

“If I was so bad, if FIFA is so bad…why is it the USA wants to keep the FIFA World Cup?…Something has to be wrong,” Warner says.

This is f%$#ed up and sh%$.

It’s also funny as hell, but it’s f%$#ed up and sh%$.