A vegan nut-job* activist in Switzerland has been denied citizenship in for a campaign against cowbells:
A longtime resident of Switzerland has been refused a passport because of her outspoken campaign against cowbells. Vegan animal rights activist Nancy Holten, who was born in the Netherlands but has lived in Switzerland since she was eight years old, has been labelled a “big mouth” by the resident committee in her village that has rejected her citizenship application twice.
Holten’s argument? Wearing heavy metal bells around their necks is causing Switzerland’s roaming cows physical pain and distress. Switzerland’s argument? Cows look damn good in bells, especially when they’re roaming around in the picturesque alps. Also, tourists are charmed by them.
In Switzerland, citizenship applications are partially assessed by a committee of residents who live in the same district as the applicant. It would appear that Holten is unpopular among some in her village of Gipf-Oberfrick, with a local representative of the Swiss People’s Party Tanja Suter telling the Swiss media that she “annoys us and doesn’t respect our traditions.”
Cow bells aren’t the only cause on Holten’s mind. The self-described freelance journalist, author, model and drama student has staged multiple campaigns against other beloved national pastimes like hunting and piglet racing. According to Swiss news site The Local, the sounds of church bells irritate her too. Does this woman even eat Lindt balls?
You know, cow bells would not be my choice for a hill to die on, but whatever.
*The nut job has nothing to do with being a vegan, and everything to do with freaking out over f%$#ing cowbells.