A leaked document has revealed that the FBI is worried that some private equity firms are involved in money laundering.

Well, color me f%$%#ing stunned.

Private equity, which generates profits from the obscene fees that it charges for the services it allegedly provides, is nothing at all like money laundering, which generates profits from the obscene fees that it charges for the services it allegedly provides:

The U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation believes firms in the nearly $10-trillion private investment funds industry are being used as vehicles for laundering money at scale, according to a leaked intelligence bulletin prepared by the agency in May.

“Threat actors” — including criminals in it for the money and foreign adversaries — “use the private placement of funds, including investments offered by hedge funds and private equity firms” to reintegrate dirty money into the legitimate global financial system, according to the bulletin.

It also said the industry lacks adequate anti-money laundering programs and called for greater scrutiny by regulators, which have yet to issue rules for the industry.

Corruption and money-laundering is a feature of private equity, not a bug.