Otherwise, she would have bludgeoned me to death with my own left arm years ago.

Case in point: I was going to bed last night, and my wife smelled something on my breath, and asked, “What were you just eating?”

I replied, “Dulche De Leche Girl Scout cookies ……… but you know something? I don’t think that they taste like they are made with real Girl Scouts.”

She glanced up, and asked, “Have you ever eaten a girl scout?”^†

My response was, “I’ve earned my share of Brownie points.“

If I had married a sane woman, I would be dead now, and no jury in the world would convict her.

^*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.
^†Bless her soul, but double entendres were never her long or her strong suit.