Goldman Sachs, as I mentioned yesterday, is looking to sell shares to pay off the TARP, which is made easier by their recent profit numbers.

How did they make those numbers, it turns out that they put their losses into December, and then dropped the month from their quarterly results

Goldman’s 2008 fiscal year ended Nov. 30. This year the company is switching to a calendar year. The leaves December as an orphan month, one that will be largely ignored. In Goldman’s earnings statement, and in most of the news reports, the quarter ended March 31 is compared to the quarter last year that ended in February.

The orphan month featured — surprise — lots of write-offs. The pretax loss was $1.3 billion, and the after-tax loss was $780 million.

How remarkably convenient.

Then we have Wells Fargo, which also announced good quarterly results, and now analysts are saying that losses uncovered in the stress test will uncover $120 billion in losses, and require that $50 billion in capital be raised.

But wait, there’s more, as other analysts are saying that Bank of America is likely seriously short on capital, and will need to dilute its shareholders stocks.

Finally, because they haven’t boned the taxpayer enough, Citigroup is looking to cut its conversion ratio, the rate at which it is planning to convert its preferred stock to common stock, and the largest preferred shareholders is, you guessed it, the American taxpayer, because the share price for the common stock has gone from about 98¢ to $3.97/share when I checked the number today.

Timothy “Eddie Haskell” Geithner should go tell Citi CEO Vikram Pandit to go Cheney himself, but he won’t because, he’s is the big bankers’ bitch.