9 November 1998: Here's a Theory

I have been in a discussion group for a few weeks, and each of the eight weeks is devoted to a single topic. Tonight we were discussing religion and spirituality.

That's always fun.

Well, a lot people were raised Catholic. That does not seem to have been a very pleasant experience. Most people talk about the whole experience with the concluding phrase "I left the church."

Well, despite negative experiences with organized religion, it's obvious that gay people have sprituality, based on the conversations we had that evening.

One of the questions concerned the religious right and the questions "Why do they hate us?" Well, here's a theory.

I think a lot of it has to do with deeply entrenched misogyny and the second-class status of women in most societies. I think a lot of the homophobia in our society is linked to that status men have imposed upon women. Heterosexual men have, for years, used taunts like "you run like a girl," calling other men "pussies," and looked down on anything perceived as female behavior. Women are often told to aspire to be more like men. Of course, they can never be men, so there's no threat there. As time has marched on, women have also taken on a lot of the roles men had traditioanlly held completely. Being like a man is the aspiration, but women are still held in contempt by men--paid less, treated unfairly, and still on the receiving end of a lot of injustice.

While women have been encouraged to be like men and dress like men, the reverse has not been true. Identifying with women is never seen to be a good thing. Not to men, anyway.

Of course, this is just a theory, and I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that I firmly believe that once women are truly seen as equal and not as "spare ribs," some of the roots of homophobia will start to finally rot and die.

Phobias are characterized by irrational fear. So my theory might be a little half-baked, but how do you combat irrational fear? You find some of the root causes, and figure out how to address them. It's not enough that the people being feared know it. It's also important that the people who are afraid figure out what is upsetting them so much, and confront it head on.

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