Previous Material, from before January 2011, appears here. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In fact, it's an appear-a-thon -- each old non-sunsigns page leads you farther back in time... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- STUFF -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- March 30, 2011: As noted on my Forecasts page (link is at top of Sunsigns page), April 3rd is another big problem date in the world at large. I wonder if many people who oppose the agenda of George Soros and his chums, which is being imposed upon us by the current US administration, are feeling completely overwhelmed now. After 2008, I used to think I was better off not knowing the "news", but I realized I'm not. I have no idea why I'm alive at this time (and at this point), but since I am, I have a responsibility to do whatever I can, no matter how small it may be, to fight for the forces of good. This can take the form of writing to representatives, prayer, and conveying my love for what my country should be, and for those who are likeminded, and for those who are in very serious danger now. I often feel overwhelmed, by the horrible things happening in this country, and in the world, and by my own personal situation. But I'm glad I know much more about what's really going on. It allows me to be able to write letters, and to reach out to likeminded people, when I'm not in a "STOP" mode, of being TOO stressed out. Several months ago, I had an email exchange with someone I very much admired, and was shocked to find this person's level of brain-death on the topic of Israel's right to exist, and to defend itself from barbarians who raise their kids to be murderers and suicide bombers. It was upsetting, the same way another big-name astrologer, years ago, showed his true colors on the same topic. It's difficult to maintain respect, admiration, or affection in these situations. It no longer matters how much they know when they lack WISDOM. I don't hate them, and I'm sure I could pick up more knowledge in the group led by the former astrologer, but it seems less stressful to study alone, rather than with people who are so blind when it comes to the finer points of good and evil. I think there are a lot of things to do when you feel overwhelmed - many of which I no longer can, but you probably can. There are baths, if you have a bathtub; long walks (or other exercise) if you aren't crippled; journaling which everyone, who can still at least write, or talk, can do. If you have any hobbies, those are good. The point is, I think a lot of us are working way harder than, say, the president, and stressing so counterproductively over his destruction of the country (not that he's done it all himself), and wondering what we can do about anything. You can do a lot. You are not powerless. The pen is mightier than the sword, so when you feel up to it, when you're not paralysed by confusion, or despair, write a letter. Sign a petition. Pray. Look for the truth in things. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- March 22, 2011: I'll have to keep writing about this, because it's a personal hell which gets drowned out by the noise of the world falling apart. It's the problem of my being an ongoing stalking-&-more victim. Only a victim counselor I've never met said straight out she believes me. Everyone else just thinks I'm schizophrenic. I'm not young, I'm not pretty, and I can't be sure of who is even doing this anymore. So I'm met with condescension, disbelief, and I can't believe how stupid THEY are for not even caring to investigate - for not being partnered with people who *could* investigate properly. There are audio surveillance bugs, audio receivers, and probably cameras, in every wall of every room in my apartment. I did not put them there. They are attached directly to my electrical wiring. (So I even have to pay for the freak's felonies on my electric bill.) I <ahem> accidentally broke a wall, not much damage - only in one little place, where the outline of one of the MANY rectangular irregularities is. The wires bulge out of the walls like varicose veins. I was ripped off $300.00 for a small $21.00 device which will detect bugs and lenses (never shop at "The Spy Store" in NYC - they are rip-off pigs), and it detected bugs and lenses. But I have no money. I haven't bought groceries since January (I buy around a month's worth at a time from a grocery delivery business because I don't have transportation and I've been crippled for 2 years - I'm not starving yet, I still have boxed pasta). And it costs THOUSANDS to have a legitimate company come in and find ALL the surveillance crap. I can't even call those professionals from here - for obvious reasons they will not accept calls or emails from a bugged place, nor from a cell phone, of course (because anyone with ham radio crap, or cell phone scanners, can scan cell phone calls). My depression has gotten worse. I can barely do anything at all. I do have a couple of ideas left, but due to physical problems, depression, AND have you ever had to go to sleep every night with blasting earphones in? That's what I have to do, because I can't bear his disgusting voice, and I wake up feeling as if I haven't slept at all, and my mind is scrambled, and I'm getting chronic headaches again. I don't know if I'm going to try to fight this out. A big part of me wants to, but I don't know if I have the strength anymore. Just, if I don't, anyone who knows me in real life and reads this, or anyone who just gives a shit, please tell the fucking police to look in the fucking walls. The criminal will have the matching sets to all the bugs and crap he managed to put in this apartment once he knew I was moving here. But if he hears the cops looking, he'll likely ditch the crap someplace. (That's why I'm unsure now who the criminal is - the freak I ran away from in another part of the country would know how to do all the wiring, and this is all similar to what went on there.) I'll probably try to survive, because I want to see this sadistic freak caged while I'm still breathing. Just in case I don't make it, though, for any reason, tell them to look in the walls everywhere they see shapes and lines plastered over. Or to look where the original wiring is, because a good electrician can see where stuff that shouldn't be there is patched in. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- March 19, 2011: This isn't America anymore - not the USA, anyway. If we ever want our country back, we have to impeach Obama. I wonder if Obama went to Rio hoping for some hot gay sex. I keep thinking about the Peter Allen song (which you might not have been on earth long enough to ever hear about). It freaks me out that there are people voting now who didn't even exist when I was 35 years old. I wish they still didn't. But I think this is why Michelle O'BamBam looks so frustrated all the time - Obama's probably a closet gay. It would piss off his MooSlim friends, too, but they're the ones he really wants it from. Since he's so generous, he wants the same for all the rest of us... Bend over... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- March 18, 2011: I do not know much very well. But this I know, and know full well: I do not know much very well. It doesn't matter why Obama's not doing his job. The fact is: He's not doing his job. IMPEACH HIM. And Red Cross, get your asses over to those stranded people in Japan with the food and supplies you've gotten them with our donations! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- March 18, 2011: I realized something about Obama a few minutes ago. His disengagement with his role, and world events, isn't inexperience (because he has normal advisors - who can't do anything on their own without his okay - in addition to his secret ones) who'd be able to help with normal decision making. And it might have, but I'm less sure about this, to do with his larger ideology that the faster the world crashes, the sooner he and his ilk can make it over to their liking. But the *main* thing, I suspect, is sheer petulance on his part. He's sulking like a two year old because he's been rejected (since last November's elections). It isn't enough that some people love him; everyone has to love him. And at first, if he wasn't loved by some, it must be because, in his mind, they (we) were just racist rednecks who couldn't keep pace with the times. Of course, that wasn't true except for very small factions, but to him it had to be. So, he's sulking. He's saying, "Screw you, too!" And playing golf, and picking college basketball teams while the world is falling apart. This only shows an additional reason we have to vote him out. He's not running away out of cowardice (I don't think), like the Wisconsin state democrats, but out of sheer 'flounce factor'. This no-fly zone idea over Libya is something we should do, but thanks to the first 2 years of Obama, Pelosi, and Reid spending, we *can't* do because we don't have the money! I hated Bush, and I hate to say it, but my life was better in every way when he was in office. I still hate him, but my life was undeniably better when he was in office. And he knew *he* was overspending, and started talking about private retirement solutions to take the place of Social Security - for the generation who are still in school now, presumably. They'd have had to keep it solvent for those who really needed it. And Iraq is a disaster, as is Afghanistan, but at least he had a reason, at the time, to start bombing Afghanistan, as stupid as it was to do (being a no-win situation, and all). We don't want another Bush. We definitely don't want anymore Obama - my God, there must be grounds for impeachment! (If you disagree with me, either you shouldn't be reading this, or you may want to accept that I'm in the habit of using "we" in the royal sense - of course.) Anyway, that's my take on the complete withdrawal of Obama from everywhere but sports. On Japan, we know they're lying about the severity of their problems. I'm not a fan of Japan, but it's nice for a day or two to see people not going apeshit, like the Union lackeys in Wisconsin and elsewhere, and the "students" in the Arab bloc. Not that I'd say I'm better than they are, but I don't get around as much. But nuclear energy is a must for the USA. We are a huge country. Just try not to build the power plants near fault lines (if that's even possible anymore). Edgar Cayce, the amazing psychic of the early 20th Century, predicted that most of the east coast would be washed out to sea. Now, I understand how very possible that is. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- March 15, 2011: What is there to say that I haven't said already? Well, I'd be in far better shape in every way if only I could get rid of the psychopath that's "cross-bugging" me, and torturing me. The cops don't believe me, relatives don't believe me, and I have no idea what my "friends" think. (But I think they'll find it interesting, during their life reviews, to find out all about it.) The truth is that, yes, it really is objectively occurring, and the monster is destroying me more and more with every passing night. I would be in far better physical health, and more capable of helping myself, and others, if I were free of the psychopath stalker. But, as it is, I'm deteriorating at a fast pace, and I don't expect to live to my third next birthday (yes, I broke my own rule and looked ahead at future solar returns out of sheer desperation, and then looked at the corresponding progressions and solar arcs). On the bright side, I guess I won't have to be around so much longer. It hardly seems possible, but things will get worse. This isn't inexperience on the part of Obama; this is what he wants, the world economy collapsed, to implement worldwide socialism. But it's ironic, isn't it, for an alleged Leo Sun to usher in the gray Age of Aquarius. Prayers and good wishes, to Japan, whose people are dealing with such major crises in such an admirable way. If only we were a little more like them, and didn't block government buildings so that elected representatives could not do their jobs, and if groups of those representatives didn't run away in cowardice to keep from having to do their jobs. Japan: Exemplary. The USA: A disgrace. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 28, 2011: If the U.S., by some miracle, survives this catastrophic term, these years will be known throughout history as the years when an enemy of the Republic openly waged war against our nation; when our nation was without a President of the United States of America; when an individual barely hiding his treason against our nation was given a title and an award, instead of the impeachment we should be demanding NOW. No. We are much too Politically Correct to point out the guest's dog is shitting on the carpet, he's stealing the silverware and jewelry for redistribution, he's texting reports to someone about books we may mention (about history? or anything Oprah hasn't given us permission to read?), his wife's screaming at our kids for eating french fries, he's picking our pockets, stealing our purses, taking the baby's piggy bank, hitting us up for an enormous loan we can't afford, which he has no intention of ever repaying, while his wife raves about her fabulous summer vacation abroad (we stayed at home, without air conditioning). Oh, then there are the guests he invited that we didn't know were coming. The men are glaring at us and their wives are wearing burkas and shrilling at us in a language we just found out is now mandatory to learn. Oh, and then there are the other guests we didn't know were coming. They start screaming at us because the teacher who can't teach fractions is entitled to just as much pay as the teacher who can, whether we like it or not. Isn't this a pleasant dinner party? We just all keep on smiling. If we were directly attacked as an act of war by an enemy nation, the criminal holding the title would not launch a defensive counter-strike. He'd bow. Oh well. Check out the book by Dick Morris & Wife, "Revolt". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 26, 2011: [Edit: February 28, 2011; March 1, 2011:] Sometimes I wonder if the World Freaks use astrology to plan their "protests" (pssst, it's not a "protest" if they want to impose sharia law, and/or socialism or communism - it's only a protest if they want to be FREE from those things), but it's more likely they just have some thrall with the number "11". The "Day of Rage" planned for March 11 in Saudi Arabia coincides with t Uranus moving back onto 0 degrees of Aries, exactly square the axis of the Lunar Nodes. I expect whatever they are planning to be more destabilizing than even they hope for. Additionally, chaotic situations will become much moreso, everywhere else. Our troubles in the West will begin to be more visible because, then, or soon after, the resulting oil shortage or cut-off, will mean no food and supplies at our stores. But I expect another huge crisis to occur on a date when one of the eclipse degrees [either January's, or June's or July's - that's right, I thought it couldn't be, but two different ephemerides show Solar Eclipses for both June 1st, and July 1st, and I can't imagine a more volatile period in history since the 1920s - 1940s, except that this time it's worse] gets hit by Mars, or Jupiter/Saturn, around the 3rd to last week of March, beginning around March 26th (with t Moon conjuncting the degree of the January Solar Eclipse, in t-square with the Jupiter/Saturn mid-point of the January eclipse degree, while t Uranus is still as 0 degrees Cardinal square the Lunar Nodes). Both Jupiter and Saturn will hit January's eclipse by square, from opposing signs, but will be most potent a trigger together, by midpoint, along with one or more triggers to the eclipse degree(s) (even June's or July's). April 19th through April 23rd is a dangerous period, fraught with confusion for news reports, and possibly indicating electrical, or other, interruptions - t Mars, and t Saturn midpoint the degree of the January eclipse, in opposition, with stationing Mercury along for the ride (conjunct Mars and opposing Saturn). By the 22nd, t Sun squares t Uranus. [And I'd said something about printing out the forecast now, if you cared to see if I'd be right, since there could be power outages, in all this mess - but I really doubt you'd be thinking about my forecast if this all comes to pass.] I'm focusing on the January Solar Eclipse here, because it pretty much coincided with the start of the uprisings in the Arab bloc countries. I will have to look more closely at the spring and summer Solar Eclipses. But I am not working with charts, so I can't predict this or that for anyplace in particular. It's more of a general world crisis (which has already begun). People who are firmly rooted in the religions of the West frown on astrology, because they want to emphasize individual free will. This is because they hope we can change bad to good, through prayer and deed. There is astrology all throughout the Bible, and there are also warnings against using astrology. Yet, there are prophets and seers all throughout the same Bible who are celebrated. It would seem to me that knowing in advance when the most "challenging" times might be would only *help one to be prepared* for the purpose of doing good, if one does believe in free will. -------------------------------------------------- Again, I don't think I've ever seen two Solar Eclipses, coming June 1st, and July 1st, occurring so closely together in Earth time. Maybe I just haven't been looking, but this is major. This will likely turn the world inside out. (I think there were 5 Solar Eclipses in 1935... do you remember what happened *then*?) Now, we have threats from both inside and out, from the unions (Socialism & Communism), the 1960s "subversives" who have been advising Obama, and Radical Islam. It's been seeming more and more like a Bizarro World, these past few years. I knew bad things were coming, but I hoped I was wrong. It looks like it will come to my worst nightmare, and what should be yours, too, unless you enjoy mass carnage, chaos, and enslavement. The forecasts, such as they are, are duplicated on my forecasts page. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 22, 2011: Well, it looks like I'll *never* get a car, now. The price of oil is rising crazily due to the cascading revolutions in the Islamic Middle East. It's projected that gas will cost $5.00/gallon rather soon, and after a while of that, could reach $10.00/gallon. This in turn, of course, means everything else we need to buy will cost much more than most of us can afford. The price of cotton, right now, in the commodities market, is higher than it's ever been, including during the Civil War (comparative to costs then). So, you'd better buy your bed & bath linens, t-shirts, jeans, etc., NOW, while you still can. And that's not even the worst of it. I pray you have not sold any gold you may own. Even a 10KT gold rope-chain bracelet might turn out to be something that can literally save your life. I would not advise wearing any gold, now. If you have a wall safe (yeah, right), it's best kept quietly in there. I remember, after 9/11, I lost my TV reception because the network shows had been broadcast from the Twin Towers (and I couldn't afford cable). For weeks, I so missed the music and graphics of the intro theme for Star Trek Voyager (the best of all the Trek intro themes) because it was on every night, then, and I had been having severe anxiety since spring of 2001, and just being able to see those beautiful graphics of space (so far away from the agony of Earth), and to hear the soaring music had such a uniquely uplifting effect on me. I so craved it that I downloaded a Star Trek Voyager screen saver just to see the faces of the crew. It's strange, when the world goes mad, the things we miss the most after a catastrophe has taken so much away. Right now, we're on the verge of mega-catastrophes. They are coming. Did you know that in his to-present-time in office, Obama never once consulted six members of his cabinet? Do you understand how twistedly wrong that is? But Richard Trumka, the Union Leader and communist, has visited the White House "a couple times a week" according to an NBC interview. NBC! One of the leaders in disinformation! You see, all we need are facts and timelines, and the truth reveals itself. Even NBC, like a broken clock, tells the truth every so often. Read up on what's really been happening in the world (aside from all the natural disasters) on the Michael Savage web site, and on Glenn Beck's. The links are at the top of this page. Pray for the preservation of our freedom. Pray that my stalker dies. Hold your family dearly, if you have one. Buy non-perishable food NOW, and try to increase your savings, or start saving money now. Buy a piece or two of lesser exhorbitantly priced 14KT gold jewelry from QVC (it's real, and it used to be wildly affordable in the early '90s), if you can't afford to buy a 24KT gold coin from Gold Line. Pray for courage. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 18, 2011: The problem with having to vote for conservatives is, yes, here we go again, the risk of losing "the right to choose", when it comes to what a woman may or may not do regarding the reproductive rights we still have (and remember, in many states, a place to get an abortion could be over a hundred miles away, and maybe you need one because your local pharmacist is a pro-lifer and won't sell the morning-after pill). Since I'm an astrologer, I don't believe the soul enters a newborn until the first independent breath. In the case of infants born prematurely, who need oxygen masks or any other apparatus in order to breathe, I believe the soul who would inhabit that new body is in an indecisive state. And if that sounds crazy to you, it sounds crazy to me that anyone would want to revert to the government mandating what rights individuals DON'T have over their own bodies and lives. There are conservatives saying that in cases of rape or incest, it's wrong to "compound that violence with the violence of abortion." That's insane. There is nothing violent about terminating the growth of a zygote, or an embryo, or preventing the formation of one in the first place. If you were pregnant due to a rape, would you feel that carrying the memory of that horror inside of you for nine months, then having it rip out of your body during birth, then knowing that the product of that horror is out there in the world somewhere (and wondering if it's going to take after its father), would be "REDEMPTIVE", as the "pro-lifers" claim? Or would it be severely traumatic, and a sick, FORCED acquiescence to the violence that was done to YOU? My feeling is that it would definitely be the latter - FOR ME. For others, I can't say. THAT IS WHY WE HAVE THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE! As for abortion being a new idea, thought up by the Progressives, WRONG. Throughout time, girls and women have had to deal with unwanted pregnancies. If you think there was a stigma to being pregnant and unmarried before the 1960s, it was nothing compared to the stigma in centuries past. How did girls and women deal with it then? They took poisons (some of which caused gangrene), they had their abdomens punched (which often causes peritonitis), they inserted sticks, and any other sharp foreign object, into themselves (often causing themselves to bleed to death) - so they mostly died. I understand that it becomes an emotional problem for most people when they see a fetus which looks like a baby. It's difficult for me, too. So I have to guess that to wait that long before aborting, the girl or woman is confused, or extremely conflicted. If anyone is conflicted as to whether she should abort, she shouldn't. It's that simple, in my view. Here's what it comes down to: Either we have individual freedoms, or we don't. If the choices we make turn out to be wrong, we accept the consequences, as our Creator (IF we believe in one) sees fit. Turning the clock back on abortion rights seems to be along the lines of the imposition of sharia law, on women. And, women, we don't have as many rights as we think. I've said this before. After you age, if you are not a mother, or a wife, or "important" in a profession, or wealthy enough to afford cosmetic surgery so that you still look good (if you even really care to), you no longer matter to the world. Listen to Marilyn Monroe - she says it all in the song, "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend". It's as true today as it ever was. Now that I think of it, I wonder if *she* was pregnant when she took that fatal overdose. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 15, 2011: I know that we're very near the eve of WWIII, and that Obama&Friends are proof of Satan, and that we barely have any basic freedoms anymore. But, and this is what's probably gotten me through all these years, I have that fool's hope that kicks in, when you know you're going to have a few almost coinciding good transits, and you think, maybe this is when it will turn around, maybe I'll get rid of the stalker freak - or at least thwart the bastard for a while, and then be able to really work on my health, etc. And, it is fool's hope. It's the only kind I ever had. But it did lead me out of darkness once, for about 11 years (even though I only had 1 good year in my whole life), and it's the nature of my heart to keep hoping. I don't have anything significant (I don't think) in my progressions or solar arcs to back it up now, but when things are this bad, even just knowing there'll be a good transit very soon, I'm hoping, my heart is lighter, and just maybe... On the other hand, it could just be the painkillers talking. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 14, 2011: It being Valentine's Day, and all, I was wondering if I could think of anything nice to say. So, have you noticed that Obama's ears are at about a 70 degree angle to his head? He has to turn his head close to 90 degrees (many of us believe he could probably turn it 360 degrees) before one of his ears doesn't show on camera. I wonder if he can pick up satellite radio. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 13, 2011: And the Thought Police strike again. An 8-year-old boy drew a picture of zombies in school (has anyone there watched TV lately, and noticed that zombies, vampires, and werewolves are featured on a bunch of popular TV shows!? - which is a whole other topic for another day), and wrote, "I want to die." on it. So, they called emergency services, *before* calling his mother, which came and locked the kid up in a psych ward, against his, and his mother's, will. I think by the time they called his mother, he'd already been locked up. And probably medicated with psychiatric poisons, too, because that way they can legally cover their asses ("he was so sick, we had to medicate him", blah, blah, shit). The boy already has a therapist - his father was deployed to Iraq, which can't be reassuring for any young kid, and who knows what else might be going on, but I'm pretty certain there isn't parental abuse because abusive parents don't send their kids to therapists. I'm sure the boy's therapist knows him better than a teacher and a social worker who probably did not even speak to him, but simply looked at the drawing, and dragged him away to psych lock-up, which would not release him to his mother, and the therapist who knows him, when she went to get him. Here's that story. That kid *already* is suffering from separation anxiety, so the best thing is to put him in lock-up away from his mother and therapist?! And zombies represent how he feels, or wishes he didn't have to feel. If I had a nickel for every time I thought the same thing he wrote on his drawing, I'd be living in a mansion on my own private island, with my own private jet, and cable company. And look, no dead bodies here! Amazing! Here's *another* one: They've been at this for longer than I thought. How loudly can I say this must not be allowed to happen? Not to an 8-year-old boy,and not to a non-threatening adult! We're not allowed to have adult conversation anymore - any indication of an emotional dip automatically means a lock-up in a psych ward! And if we are afraid to say, or show how we feel, no matter how *currently* taboo it might be, then we are self-censoring, repressing, and eventually (or sooner) denying ourselves the power of critical reasoning. It shouldn't be surprising that of what I know, so far, about these psychiatric arrests, is that they seem to happen the most in the "Liberal" states, wich are NOT liberal at all. They're the most repressive states in the Union, unless you want to have a sex-change operation - THAT, they'll PAY FOR! It's all about trend. In the '80s, when incest was an emerging topic (thank you, Pluto in Scorpio), there were a lot of kids accusing adults of ridiculous Satanic worship, sexual abuse, etc. The Salem Witch Trials never stopped - they've only changed form, and continued to adapt, according to the trend du jour. If you agree that it's disgusting that state and local governments have the power to lock you up, if you're heard saying the "wrong thing" about how you feel, you have the power to do something about it. Write to the assholes in your state & local governments, and tell them you want these laws changed. Or, next time, it could be you. If you're lucky, they might even tase you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 12, 2011: The ultra-violence did not occur yesterday. But it will. So will all the other catastrophic things I've been writing about. It doesn't surprise me that people turn away, or become angry with me. Any attempt to ignore or silence someone is usually because s/he's telling a truth that other people don't want to know, or don't want *you* to know. Also, the average IQ in the U.S. is 98. In the Arab bloc, it's in the low 80s (around 83/84). In African countries it's much lower than that. Is it even a question as to who commits the most crime? Or of who has the lowest awareness of beneficial conduct within free societies (like ours used to be)? People like Oprah Windbag can go on about EQ, but I see the presence or lack of it in direct parallel to IQ, when it comes to urban communities (which are the only kind I've ever observed, having never lived anyplace very rural). IQ (and EQ) have a lot to do with conscious awareness, and conscience. The more conscious awareness one has, the far less likely s/he will be to ever commit an act of violence. A high IQ/EQ only indicates the *potential* for conscious awareness. Obviously, plenty of so-called smart people have not been able to develop it. Why am I saying this? Because the lower the IQ, the greater the propensity toward violent behavior, and the lowest potential for introspection. So, take your guesses why I think this has so much to do with the unholy mess humanity has created around the globe. People with supposedly high IQs, who may be idealistic, but are terribly misguided, or maybe they are aberrations of nature, or maybe they have severely afflicted Suns, because people with severely afflicted Suns, which can include people with the Sun in Leo, who then often become narcissistic and only THEIR viewpoint matters, or is the right one, or they cannot access their own true individuality, so they cannot see the worth of individuality, or they cannot even grasp the concept of individuality, and therefore see only a COLLECTIVE SALVATION or solution to societal issues, are manipulating those with lower IQs. This has always been the case (except not as badly in the U.S., which was founded against such a type of government, as now, perhaps). The U.S. isn't sunk yet, because there are a lot of very smart people in the general population. In order to have an *average* IQ of 98, there has to be about half the people with IQs significantly higher than 98. That's why there are enough people smart to understand what Obama & his administration of creeps are up to, and try to keep them in check politically, which was what happened in last November's elections. But, then there's the other half of the population with IQs significantly lower than 98. They are either being played, or they just don't "get it", and therefore don't care. So, we're still in an awful mess. They'll become violent, of course. I won't say there's absolutely no hope, because enough of us do "get it", or will (I pray). Our "leaders" are acting like kings or emperors. (The Obamas... the mayor of NY... the local laws in your towns...) They're lying to us in order to manipulate our behavior, they're playing us in order to manipulate how we think, they're calling us their enemies, they're telling us what to eat, they're taking away our own natural resources, and they're determining where and when we can or cannot do legal things with legal stuff. Isn't it time we voted them out? If anyone cared to put the facts together, Obama could be impeached. I never had much hope for humanity. I never liked humanity very much, either, because I never had much cause to, and no one ever told me to. I like sea anemones, and small domestic short haired female silver tabby cats (especially a certain unique one). I have cause to. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 10, 2011: There's just so much; it's overwhelming. Today's overhead pictures of Egypt looked as if the worldwide bulimics' association ate a few billion pepperoni pizzas, and purged. Am I wrong? Maybe tilt your head back a little. We'd be so much luckier if that were the case. Do you think our current administration is just weak, or "clueless"? This is what they've been *waiting* for. It's what they've been *longing* for, and yes, I do think they are evil scum, right down to Hillary who spouts socialist rhetoric, and Michelle, who spouts Cass Sunstein's "Nudge", every time she bitches at us about food. Hmm. She's the first "first lady" who wasn't proud to be American (she said). Well, when you're not proud to be American, you are usually into tearing it apart from the inside, which is exactly what they've been doing. Now, they've got the chance, via the Egyptian meltdown, to tear it apart from the outside, too. I have a strong suspicion that Obama called Mubarak today, telling him to refuse to step down, which Mubarak doesn't want to do anyway. The mob will explode into ultra-violence. Who'll step in? Obama will make another *public* statement, saying Mubarak and his government must be dissolved immediately, and that the people - not the military - must be allowed to make their own choices, "democratically". Since there is no organized way for *any* secular segment of the population to do that, the Muslim Brotherhood will sweep right in, with Obama virtually holding the door for them. Watch. When it's 1AM EST, it's 8AM Egyptian time. Watch it on TV. There's just too much to say about the whole crisis Western Civilization is facing now. And yep, there *is* such a thing, even if Ghandi joked there wasn't. I like India (well, the food, anyway) but, come on, they *still* practice suttee in remote and poor areas, and abort baby *girls* routinely. Before Egypt erupted, it was almost as if we had *time*, a moment or two to breathe and process the destruction of our country at the hands of its leaders and 'shadow government'. Even if Van Jones left the White House by dark of night recently, doesn't mean telephones don't still work. Beck says no one else is saying all these things (and yes, you *should* look up his sources for the info on his shows), but that's not entirely true. There's a brilliant guy called Michael Savage who's been saying exactly these same things, is being censored in certain areas (unlike Beck, I guess), is also on George Soros' "Media Matters" shut-them-up list, and probably gets a lot more death threats than Beck. Please check out Michael Savage's radio show, when you can. Beck and Savage are both excellent educators, when you look up what they say, and find out it's all true. I've been writing about the danger posed by the huge and growing Islamic population here for a few years now. Why did it take a UK Prime Minister that long (longer, really), to say the same thing, finally? They know they'll likely be the first Western country to be absorbed into an attempted Caliphate, while the Arabs are at war with Israel. And they won't like it. I have a hunch I know the script from this point on, but it's too painful to write about. At least a UK Prime Minister finally showed evidence of having cojones. Oh, so does Obama - but, see, he'll be fighting *for* the Caliphate. By the way, Australians, I've been following the news of the disastrous cyclones in your country, and I hope you are safe. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 5, 2011: If you knew what the majority of Arabs say to each other in Arabic, even on Al-Jazeera TV, (the virulently American-hating, Jew-hating "news outlet", so praised around the globe), as opposed to the sweetness & light they sell on CNN, you'd understand my new ideas. There's lot's to check out here. I can't seem to find the video of the Arab preaching to a large crowd about how Hitler delivered "divine punishment on the Jews", and that only Islam could do the 'real God's true will' in killing EVERY LAST JEW. Yet, people such as "Code Pink" (which contains some really-must-be-self-hating-Jews), support Hamas, which is the elected Palestinian government (because they grabbed all the foreign aid we gave them, and they can feed and foment the Pal-Arabs, and keep them well-stocked with guns and grenades, and have absolutely no intention of cooperating with the Two-State Peace Agreement). And it's not only the Jews. They HATE YOU, TOO! So. First, because there will be food shortages stateside soon (or food will cost too much for most of us to buy - same sort of thing), I say we start by eating Turkey. Lots of fatsos there - they'll probably taste like a nice, juicy... uh, roast turkey! Then, we go ahead and nuke Syria, Iran - practically most of the Arab bloc, except for archeologically important areas of Egypt, and Saudi Arabia - because we'll have to go right in and take their oil. And we need to consult the 'Arab Farmer's Almanac' to see which way the nuclear fallout will blow, so we keep Israel safe. Heh. Of course, with your incompetent, yet truly evil, savior in office, this course of ruthless, yet exquisite wisdom will not be implemented. Everything I've said before still stands. The "Muslim Brotherhood" were probably behind that ridiculous "pro-Mubarak" provocation of the mob, since no one in Egypt is pro-Mubarak (except the military, whose salaries get paid, and who would NOT want their job made harder by the eruption of violence in a mob of that size). As for Friday having been more peaceful, there was a Moon Venus Jupiter thing that happened around 1 or 2 PM local Egypt time, and then the Moon was VOC (the Moon can be VOC early in a sign if not within moiety of orb to aspecting another planet - search "Sue Ward VOC" on this point), and Mars was Cazimi yesterday afternoon, local Egypt time, ruled by Saturn in exaltation. VOC Moon (people mill about, rather than blow up gas lines, so look at what was happening when "someone" blew up the gas line - if a plan is already in place, Moon can be VOC and people will often still follow their plan), & Mars ruled by Saturn in exaltation, makes mob protesting (a Moon Mars kind of thing) less violent, and if peaceful, Venus is involved in a good way. But if a plan exists to blow up a gas line, they will still blow up a gas line. Cazimi Mars is powerful, and it's going to express no matter how it's disposited. It's all a pile of shit. I'm not sure how I feel about the "secular" population we keep hearing about. If they still agree on the point of destroying Israel, nuke them. I don't know how *I* feel about the "moderate Muslim" American commentator, Zudhi Jasser. He sounds decent, but you just can't take some people at face value. If s/he's a self-proclaimed friend, yet still a member of a huge group of people who want to kill you, no matter hir proclamations of having immigrated to America "in the 1960s to escape radicalism" and so, CAME HERE? To *escape* radicalism in the '60s? Uh, I dunno about you, Mr. Zudhi Jasser. I wish I could trust you. Glenn Beck does, but he's a good Christian. (I'm a heathen. Or something.) Speaking of Glenn Beck, there were some very enlightening video clips on his TV shows this past week (as usual). Here's what some of those sweet, compassionate people from "Code Pink" said, the ones behind that peaceful, yet heavily armed, compassionate Flotilla, which 'big, bad, meanies, Israel' said in advance was not allowed in their waters, a warning "Code Pink" defied, leaving the Israeli defense no choice but to board (what else would you do when your streets and cities are being bombed incessantly, and over a billion people want you dead?), which upset all those Leftist sweeties like "The Dixie Chicks", and that nice man, "Elvis Costello" (disliked him ever since I heard the lyrics to "Allison", years ago), et al. Check out "Code Pink", and what some of these softies on the Left say. "Code Pink" supports Hamas, of course. So very righteous. So very anti-Jew. And they're only one of the dozens (or hundreds) of nice, compassionate groups on the not-so-new Left. ***************** In other news, there were some hopeful changes last week regarding the behavior of the POS stalker freak that's torturing me. But... since last night, seems he's BAAAAAACK! I do have more counter measures planned but, without the cops believing, catching, and stopping this POS, I really can't take it anymore. Never fear - you know I'd never do anything violent, or illegal. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 31, 2011: Not much to add, except that it's even worse than I thought. The rioting across the Islamic Middle East is being exploited by the "Muslim Brotherhood", who gave us Al Quaida, etc. So, if you're watching CNN and some idiot is going on about their being a beneficent minority within the Islamic world, it's time to put your reality cap back on. Yes, the people are miserable. They're miserable within ANY Islamic country, because the "leaders" are scumbuckets, and when they toss one out, they exchange him for one who's even worse. It's not just our economy at stake. The Muslim Brotherhood will replace Mubarak with a fundamentalist imam dictatorship, just like the Ayatollah, in Iran, after they kicked out their stinking Shah. The one thing all these regimes have in common is their hatred of us, their abuses of women as soulless, rightless breeders, and their wish to annhilate Israel. Why do they hate us? Because of our friendship with Israel. Why do they hate Israel? Because it's not Islamist, and it hasn't been invaded, like Europe, to add to their coming Caliphate. And Israel has nukes. (Which is why the madman of Iran is building (at least) one.) Why are we Israel's friend? Because they provide us with valuable things, and they're a decent, free, Democratic nation. Why (wa)s Egypt our friend? Because the scumbucket had an accord with Israel. Oh, yeah, and because it protected the Suez Canal, the route through which the world gets its Arab oil. (And why, again, did Obama tell Brazil to set up oil rigs around the U.S., drill our offshore waters, and then sell OUR OIL to US? He is loving this. He gets to completely destroy the U.S., with this all happening.) All this is happening rapidly. There are protests all over the Islamic Middle East, now (and don't hold your breath on much of Africa), and this isn't just our economy. This is going to be WWIII. No forecasted date on that, and if it doesn't happen, I'll be very glad for you. Just a point. I heard Beck say that "we should be Switzerland," (completely neutral in world affairs). This is possibly the stupidest thing I've heard him say (and usually, I agree with him). Switzerland is about 1/10th the size of California, with a population shy of 8 million. New York City alone has over 8 million residents. Switzerland is so small, it can AFFORD to BE Switzerland. But if we hadn't gotten into WWII, does anyone doubt Germany would have annexed Switzerland? We cannot be Switzerland. We are too big, and we rely too much on foreign trade to be able to afford to stay out of the world political arena. What we should do is try to regain our Republic, wealth, and strength, and then revise our foreign policies. We can never remain neutral - we just can't afford to. What we should have been doing the past 60 years was to recognize our real enemies and tighten up our immigration. Because we didn't, Islamic breeders, unless we can get rid of them, will own the U.S. (jointly with China? I don't think the Islamists do anything jointly, but who knows.) by 2111. Or sooner. They'll own Europe within about 30 years. By that, I mean anything but Islamists will be dead, or a servile minority. ********** In other news, things are escalating, as I thought they would, with the POS stalker freak. The cable company sent someone out to check something, at my request. The stalker was temporarily unable to torture me. This pissed him off. I don't care if he kills me, at this point. I can probably make that happen. At least the half-wit cops might say, "Hey, isn't she the nut who used to call about a stalker or something? Wonder who did this. Crazy old bitch." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 28, 2011: Quite a shitstorm humanity is brewing. What's happening in Cairo is horrifying. I have a sick feeling we are on the brink of WWIII. And, no small news day in the U.S., either, as people are committing major crimes all around the country. So, what do I think of? The Solar Eclipse last July was at 19 Cancer 24, preceding the malefic Cardinal Cross at the end of late July, and this latest Solar Eclipse, January 4th, was at 13 Capricorn 39. Square Saturn, at 17 Libra. With Jupiter just having ingressed into Aries again (recalling last July), ruled by Mars. With Mars moving unusually fast (unless my ephemeris is wrong). Since Mars is moving so fast that it's nearly keeping pace with the Sun (but never AS fast as the Sun, of course), I thought its state of combustion would weaken it. Umm, that was a wrong way of thinking of it. What the cumbustion is doing is causing aggression to become out of control, rather than weakening it. It's causing loss of temperance in reason, and last night, Moon was antiscion Mars, stirring up already unstable situations and people, setting off this new horrible day. It isn't going to get better. There may be lulls here and there, but don't be misled. A very large part of the "human" world is exploding and imploding, and we are right in the middle of it. Get Emergency kits. If you have a back-up generator, I envy you; so will other people who will want to take it. I can't give you a date, but it is coming. Get prepared, be prepared, and stay calm. Help others, if/when you can. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 24, 2011: It looks as if my web site has been hacked. If it has, it gives more evidence of the multitudes of "bad seeds" among us. If you are Christian, please don't be offended when I say your Jesus did NOT die for THEM. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 22, 2011: I must make clear the fact that I am not a racist. I never began as one. It was my fate that I should be the victim of crimes committed by certain blacks at various, but continual, times in my life. It is difficult not to feel bitter, but it seems obvious that my battle is an internal one, against giving way to hatred to all, because of some. This is not an easy thing, especially when I'm being deliberately tortured. But I am trying to elevate myself to the status of human, again, which is painfully hard when the suffering having to be endured makes one feel like nothing more than a tortured animal. Animals have it easy, though - their spirits are pure, naturally, and they have no burden of shame. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 22, 2011: Well, having vented my spleen (if that's even an expression) earlier, I'm back with 'Astrology in the Movies'! One day I'll make a page, listing them perhaps (my favorite is still "13 Women"). Tonight, one I'd never seen before, called "Bloody Birthday" from 1981. The theme are 3 murderous ten-year-olds who were all born simultaneously, and embark on a murder spree... Well, the star of the film is astrology, which is murdered pretty badly with the most ridiculous astrobabble ever heard (except it was significant that the little monsters were born during a solar eclipse), but I still thought it was nifty that they'd tie in the factor of the identical astrological charts of the bloodly little brats. **************** Other than that, I just saw the awful show, "Haunted", on Animal Planet (for the 1st & last) time, and I'm convinced that a horrible family murdered their dog, two kittens, and at least two horses, just to get on the idiotic show. All the animals died after suffering "seizures" - that would be the first glaring clue. As to the claim that one of the emotionless daughters heard her father say goodnight, when he claimed he hadn't, wasn't it convenient that she should have had "a friend over, watching TV", who was just amazed! Yes, there needed to be a gullible witness, of course, to an easily explainable trick. So, the "paranormal specialists" were brought in, and found nothing, of course, to explain a farmful of dead pets who'd been young and vigorous before these sickos got their claws on them, but the impartial "psychic" concluded that the animals had been instinctively gravitating towards the emotionless mother, who apparently was so adept at helping animals cross over - it was, as the "psychic" said, a sort of hospice for animals who 'knew it was their time'. What, a YOUNG DOG, TWO KITTENS, AND SOME HORSES?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The "vet" was apparently either brain dead, or in on the deal (for the cash from the show) because a bunch of animals don't just get seizures and die without being intentionally poisoned (they'd claimed they'd had the hay, water, and whatnot all tested for toxins). Those people should be investigated, and NOT by "paranormal" imbeciles. **************************** And now, "The Bad Seed" is on - a great movie for Classical astrologers! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ January 21, 2011: The thought police are on my back again. See, I made the mistake of calling the cops about the stalker because, being as foolish as I am, I thought the fact that he'd FOLLOWED ME 50 MILES would be a relatively EASY THING TO CONFIRM, but I was ever so wrong. So, now I have social workers who want to visit again (and already tried) to appear at my door unannounced (because then they can make those crucial observations, such as whether you've left the breakfast dishes unwashed, or worse, your hair - a SURE sign of an unbalanced mind, or see that you've left your curtains closed - which, by the way, is recommended to stalking victims - but in YOUR case, is a SURE SIGN of an UNBALANCED MIND). This instills such terror in me, because of that surreal psychiatric arrest I suffered last February, I cannot describe it. I was foolish. I'd spoken to a stalking victims counselor who understood the entire situation, which had emboldened me. I took a chance on the police maybe not being half-witted SOTE, and lost the bet. And ever since it was discovered that the Tucson shooter didn't have a "political agenda" but was, instead, "DERANGED", the thought police are on high vigilance mode, especially in the more puritanical states. So, anyone like me (there's no one like me) who's the victim of some absolute scumbag using a bunch of crap from a spy store, who tries to describe what's happening sounds like the crazy one, while the bastard's simple denial of these crimes is the gold standard because, God forbid any Liberals might be offended to know that a black male is torturing a white female (and an ugly white female, yet) should this be checked out in any intelligent way and found TRUE. It's just fine, I guess, that a DERANGED black male tortures a vunerable white woman, as long as she can continue to be discredited by various means, so that Liberals, who enjoy THEIR safety living in more affluent areas, or by virtue of their families, friends, and excellent health, or social status, don't have to recognize that there is this kind of violence happening in Obamaland (to me), and that <gasp> there's a possible racial component (with a white victim (me)). Well, if anyone's going to save me, it's going to have to be me. Anyone else just wants to shut me up, and/or lock me up. And if you knew what's going on, you'd be a rare person who wanted to do neither. Because the stalker is DERANGED, this whole situation is cRaZy, and SOUNDS LIKE IT. But in the electronic age, I'd think there'd be enough sophistication for people who are supposed to understand this kind of shit to give the victim the benefit of the doubt. There isn't. People have been spied on by neighbors with video cameras, but what's happening to me is too crazy to accept? What's too crazy for me to accept is the raging stupidity of the people who have sworn "To serve and protect." Oh, but don't worry. Not only do I not possess firearms (thanks to them), even if I did, I am non-violent. So, if I do manage to thwart my deranged stalker's "game", I'll have no means of self-defense when he escalates to murdering me (see link to stalker behavior). Then, I guess we'll all be happy. Oh, I mean if they can keep the murder out of the news. (Hmm, would they arrest him? I'm thinking no.) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 14, 2011: Again, about 3 hours sleep yesterday evening (about 4 hours the early morning the night before), and complete deprivation since then by the psychopath that followed me 50 miles because it's just so much fun for him to destroy the life of a white woman. I did a lifetime tally. You might be interested, but for the sake of the two who were good human beings, I'm not going to get into that now. (I probably will next time I write when I'm in the inflicted physical torture (of my "secret" vulnerability), as well as the extreme sleep deprivation, which compromises my better judgment and makes me downright hateful.) I see commercials on TV for beds, and I feel enraged and so upset that for everyone else in the world, a lousy bed is the only reason they can't get a *good* night's sleep. My bed is utter crap, and I'd gladly sleep on the floor, if only I weren't being prevented entirely from sleep by this deranged bastard. And when I do get a little sleep, it's with earphones blasting news or music in my head, which, if you've ever had to do this, you might know, leaves the mind feeling scrambled, and eventually causes chronic headaches. My eyes are so dry, because they are open 21 hours a day, and I am exhausted, and my health is failing in every way, and the fucking police will only call this "harassment". Well, if I manage to take the psycho's toys away, there's a good chance he'll kill me. Maybe they'll upgrade their terminology then. ************************** I saw that circus of a memorial for the people gunned down in Arizona (because it pre-empted everything else). Obama sickens me. Anyone who's ever been diagnosed with any sort of psych problem, and you aren't deranged, like the shooter, and the freak that's torturing me, watch out, because BamBam (he likes to take a club to our Constitutional rights) said something like, 'we'll need to look at how we might better approach the problem of mental illness', which in BamBam-supersonic-sibilance means forced medication and the FEDERAL right to forcibly commit anyone THEY want to. The only thing that bastard said that was worth a damn was the little scripture quote from Job. I wish they'd just STOP broadcasting him. I don't want to see him, and I DON'T WANT TO HEAR HIM! I FUCKING HATE HIS GODDAMN SIBILANCE! The Memorial was an embarrassment to the country. The only part of it which I didn't find offensive (although it's very difficult for me to remember much of what anyone else said because I'm exhausted) was the initial Native American prayer, because it was a beautiful way of expressing the angles of an astrological chart, East, South, West, and North. (But all the talking heads wouldn't appreciate that.) Plus, he was the only real American who spoke. (They probably wouldn't pick up on that, either.) The constant cheering of the crowd had nothing to do with it being a college campus stadium. When I was that age (college), we didn't cheer. Prince Charles visited the campus, but no one *cheered*, nor would they have cheered if a president had visited. It has to do with values, and quality of character (which were slightly more grounded in my day) and, apparently, it's sadly lacking in the iPhone generation. I think nothing is real, nor matters to them because they've interacted more with machines than with their moron parents, growing up. Also, they're the Pluto in Libra, who are utterly dispassionate, cold, and manipulative, and Pluto in Scorpio (of whom I once had such hopes) who seem to possess an ugly bloodlust and crudeness of character. My writing is often crude and ugly, but *I'm* not (at least, not when I'm FREE OF TORTURE). We're screwed, if we live long enough to need health or home care from them. T Jupiter is applying to Scheat, which is exactly what it sounds like. I'm too exhausted to look anything up in the effie right now for further astrological tidbits. (For personal reasons, I'm glad it's soon to be in Aries (conjunction to n POF, trines, etc.)) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 11, 2011: Umm, about 3 hours sleep, maybe less. Torture from the shitbag stalker. There's a word they're removing from new editions of "Huckleberry Finn" (it's a word that "rappers" use a lot), so I figure there's going to be a huge surplus of that word floating around in the linguistic ethers. I'm doing my part with a writing project, detailing my life history of victimization by these savages. Check out this comparison: Blacks say they've been so disadvantaged and scarred by slavery, so there's some kind of twisted logic that the males can own and torture a random, vulnerable female, while, in this political climate, everyone turns their heads away. (It was the same in '77, because of the location.) So, they've picked me, time and again in my life, because I'm alone, have a vulnerability, and I'm defenseless. And they torture me in whatever sick ways they can. (I know I'm not the only one.) Jews were slaves in past millennia, and have been persecuted and slaughtered for 2000 years, all because of one NT gospel, written years after the earliest one which was written decades after the death of Jesus. But I have never known Jews to do harm to random women (except for the nut cases at the Western Wall who throw stones at immodestly dressed tourists, unless that's an urban myth, since I've never seen it). Yes, there are Jewish criminals, but practically none who harm random women. How do we account for this? I know how *I* do, but how do *you* account for this? It was not an aspiration of mine to live my life in hatred. If I'd known all this was going to happen, I'd have finished it when I was 16 and had connections. And if you are a Jewish Liberal, it's really time you pulled your damn head out. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 10, 2011: It freaks me out whenever I find out anyone's read anything I wrote. (Dammit, the Desktop Icon Clean-Up Wizard keeps bugging me - and I don't have many unused icons on my desktop.) It's sort of like, yeah, I know I'm here, but you're supposed to be IGNORING me, like everyone else does. Hmm, that's weirdly synchronicitous to the Desktop Clean-Up Wizard, in a completely not-at-all way. The thing I have to say is that I wish like hell I'd been able to be more helpful to some people this past year and more, but I am going through too much, which I won't explain (in addition to everything I have explained), to be any use at all. But sometimes a song can be. If you're having a panic attack, and still have broadband, listen to this on endless repeat, and drink some very strong Valerian tea. The song on its own works for me but, you, I'm not so sure about. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 6, 2011: If you haven't cancelled your cable yet, and you have "Music Choice"... If you were a youngster in the '60s, and grew up with all the pop and rock of the '50s, '60s, and '70s, tune in to the extremely evil Music Choice channels from those eras. You are now listening with different ears, and it's amazing what a different understanding of the music you may now glean. Also, it's really cool to see the vast numbers of musicians who are now dead*, jot down birth dates, and read the interesting factoids. Pink Floyd set an important precedent by not allowing their music to be sold "chopped up", Itunes style, and if other musicians and bands had more respect for their work (and less need for new cash), they should follow suit, because the idea of the album is one that should live on. I was shocked to see how truly horrible Robert Plant look nowadays. Thank gods he doesn't wear girls' shirts anymore, because that would be horrifying. It looked cute when he was young, but... now, the guy looks like a corpse in a wig. And it's amazing to hear how widespread was the influence of the great Cliff Gallup on so many of the guitarists. *Well, that was the life! They got to earn a living doing what they loved, and die youngishly, sparing themselves the extra added hell that goes with living too long. If I'd thought it through in this way while I still had a chance, I'd have scratched & clawed my way into the biz (it worked for Madonna, and her unproduced stuff was no better than mine). (But she'll probably live to be an old hag - not a mistake I'd have made.) My aspiration in college was to major in music composition (as opposed to writing simple little songs). There was a snag - I had never learned to read music, and I couldn't play an instrument to save my life. (My guitar playing never became improvisationally fluent, or very skillful, no matter how hard I tried, and when I eventually, in my future, "arranged" and recorded some of my simple songs with keyboards, etc., I had to find every key, write it down as such: "fourth white key next to those black ones in the middle," and then practice several of those simple lines for days, which I then had to overlay on tape, one by one.) But for some reason, my professor, who was obviously irritated with me in a non-abusive way (whose other students were completely educated in advanced music, and thought I was a total airhead at best) sent me to Easley Blackwood, the composer (and magical player of the campus carillon), to learn piano and music reading! FOR FREE!!!!! Professor Blackwood is the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful, gracious and patient person I ever met. Unfortunately, this amazing opportunity coincided with assault, serial sexual assaults, robberies, slander, and other assorted traumas, machinated by the Alabamian slag they assigned as my roommate. I had a nervous breakdown in short order, then forced myself to believe nothing bad had happened, and quit college at the year's end, after collecting gods' know how many incompletes, since I pretty much stopped going to classes altogether not long after someone reported *me* (!) to the Dean, and I sat without saying a word (because I literally couldn't, about *that*, until some time in the '90s), while the slag slandered me further in the Dean's office before shrugging and saying, "I'll move," in her charming ebonics dialect. That was the university's only concern, and solution to the destruction of my future - that one of us move to different housing. To shorten this massive narrative, "glug, glug, glug," constant inebriation until and after I was away from there, unbelievable ostrobogulosity (you'll have to guess), and I never became an angel, like Professor Blackwood. I was almost an angel before I went there. In fact, I'm driftwood, being tortured and shredded alive by a thug so much like the ones back then, after escaping similar ones since 2007. And no one should have to endure this, but part of me feels I deserve it. The rest of me is a ball of tortured hatred and outrage. That's why I haven't been much help to anyone. It's part of why I haven't been. I don't usually say much about my life. There's so much more horror, even still. It seemed the less anyone knew about me the better. But I can sort of grasp the notion, especially now, that it just doesn't matter if anyone knows. I'd love to write about my childhood, which would make everything else very clear, but I'm uncomfortable about doing that. Since most of those involved are still alive - it feels wrong. I'm not sure why it should. It's some sort of misplaced code of honor, to those who never deserved it. Well, I may still yet. Sleep deprivation strips away my guard. I'll probably delete all this if I ever sleep again. - - - - - - - - - - - - - Here you go - listen to Music Choice and then get the songs and albums you want for free, via your method of choice. The RIAA is just another mafia. If you feel guilty, send a dollar per song directly to the artist(s) - it's a lot more than they get from the Itunes types' scams, or even CD sales. If the artist is dead, no harm, no foul, and I'm sure they're just happy you still like their music. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 6, 2011: Aha! I finally understand: When I was a youngster, George Harrison's album, "All Things Must Pass", was released in 1970. I didn't have the album, I don't think, but when listening to the titular song back then, I felt so betrayed, because I knew some things NEVER end. But, I've just seen that "My Sweet Lord" was on that same album, and when I hear the lyrics to that, in the context of the album title (loved that song forever, by the way, even if he did rip off the tune in his sleep* from the old pop song, "He's So Fine"), IT ALL MAKES SENSE! Thank you, George! I finally know what you really meant, and you must have been unbelievably depressed when you wrote it. Speaking of sleep, I've had exactly NONE, because of the savage that's stalking me. I'm going to get the POS and, when I do, I will finally be vindicated, and maybe one day, I'll lose my fear of trying to sleep, which I've developed in a very bad way since a year ago October. And I needed sleep, because I have a doctor thing today, and I have no idea what I'm going to do now. I really need to go, but I can't see straight. I would try dealing with the police again, but it's a lousy rotten "6" day. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 4, 2011: By the way, if you were under the impression that I was blaspheming when I wrote, "ESAD, "God,"" on December 31st, you can go ahead and untwist your underwear, because my concept of God is not *your* God, to whom you probably pray. One day I hope to write exactly what I believe "God" to be, and lay out my entire weird spirituality for all to look upon with horrified faces. It's really not so bad, but not at all as comforting as the Christian concept of God. And no, I don't consider myself to be "God", except in the sense that everything is "God", and yes, you might be familiar with my track record of mentioning the articles I plan to write and never do. But that doesn't mean I never will, unless of course it does. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- January 3, 2011: Break the mold. When someone is going through something lousy, and you *could* help, but would really rather not because it's inconvenient, or creepy-sounding, or it's not your job, or it isn't funded, HELP ANYWAY! HELP IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY YOU CAN. GIVE YOUR TIME AND EFFORT. AND ALWAYS RESPECT THE PERSON YOU ARE HELPING, AND ALWAYS HELP IN THE WAY S/HE ASKS TO BE HELPED, NOT IN THE WAY YOU THINK S/HE SHOULD BE HELPED! Assholes! Oh, yeah. Happy new year. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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I wish you peace, good fortune, and, of course, good health.
Gail |
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| All Rights Reserved; Gail Sandra Klein | ||