October 27, 2010: I am a terrified, tortured, victim of a stalker - a man that lived at the address of the apartment complex I moved far away from on October 1, 2010. He FOLLOWED ME. I have been trying to figure out what in the name of God I can do to escape this nightmare. I posted about it on a Delphi Forum, because my entire life now revolves around what to do about this, and one of the major weapons stalkers have on their side is the secrecy of what they do, and how, in many cases, they take measures to avoid being caught by having a victim who has no witnesses. My thought was, the more I tell people about it, even just online, the less secrecy he may have on his side. The only thing I have on my side is that an investigator, if not the police, can verify that he left the previous apartment and town the same time I did, and followed me to my new building and town. Also, that I spent a year there as his victim, and people there, mostly single, unemployed men, KNOW about it, but thought it was a big joke to keep them entertained. ------------------------------------------------ Here is what a woman called Sally Beacham said to me: "<I said I was looking into hiring an investigator, but I also mentioned I really can't afford it. Moving was very expensive, and I still owe money to the mover. I literally don't have the money.> You literally don't have the money, but you just spent over $75 on the Sephora F&F online sale? Your story is making less and less sense. To be perfectly honest, my instinct is that you are either suffering from some delusions (if what you have written here is what you truly believe) or else you are looking for sympathy and/or drama here amongst kind-hearted strangers. In either case, my opinion is that this thread does not belong on this forum. Oct. 22, 2010 2:55 PM CDT" ---------------------------------------------- I did NOT make the purchase she refers to above, which gives you an idea of her disability with reading comprehension. I had posted that I bought a few VERY HEAVILY DISCOUNTED items from a different vendor, for MUCH LESS than $75.00. I did mention that I was feeling very panicky, and I sometimes make small purchases because it feels like a normal thing to do, plus I like to buy from American companies, whose products are all made in the USA. Depending on your opinions, you may think I'm an awful person who deserves a nightmare like this. Guess what? NO ONE DESERVES A NIGHTMARE LIKE THIS. I should add that most of the people who posted in the thread were kind, and supportive, and tried to offer advice but, in a situation like this, that advice just doesn't work. This isn't a case of a neighbor who dislikes me - this is a case of a predator who's devoted his entire life now to surveilling (yes!) and torturing me. He is not going to "get tired" of doing this - he is obsessed, and he will only escalate unless he is caught. Do you know what "escalate" means? It means that eventually he is going to physically assault me, or kill me. Look. And Sally Beacham, who is a "queen bee" on the forum where I posted, said the above abusive crap to me, and even worse. Then, although I had not flamed anyone, but I was crumpled on my bed crying, and believing I was WORTHLESS, the moderator, Christa Ryan, closed the thread, while decent people were still trying to post to me. And now the thread is archived, and away from public view. I wrote to Christa twice. The first time I asked her what I might have ever done to Sally Beacham, so I could apologize. Her answer to me never addressed that question. Her answer was basically, 'we don't like drama here.' Oh! FORGIVE ME FOR BLEEDING ON YOUR NICE CARPET! The second time I wrote to Christa, I said I wanted a sincere apology from Sally Beacham. There was no reply. Sally Beacham runs some sort of business having to do with Photoshop. She is not the sort of person I would ever hire to do anything, unless I were a louse of a politician, looking for someone vicious, to stab someone while they're down. (Like, for instance, the TiC, who refers to Americans who disagree with his policies as ENEMIES! When has an American president EVER BEFORE OPENLY CALLED HALF THE PEOPLE IN HIS COUNTRY HIS ENEMIES? I'm sure Sally Beacham would be thrilled to call him her friend.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There are no sun-signs, no humor, no journal. I leave only the following here. On 2nd thought, 4 months later... (or at least since October 2009)... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Reader, if I have not replied to your email, please excuse me. I'm in a difficult stage of life, and busy fulfilling the demamds of my chart. (Which is why it makes so much more sense to me to have just discovered I had read the tables of Firdaria wrong, and I am still in my Saturn Firdaria, and more accurately, my Saturn Moon Firdaria. This makes so much more sense than being in my Jupiter Firdaria, which I had erroneously thought, last autumn. The awful thing is that this one lasts for almost two years, and I am only barely 6 months through it.) If one has an afflicted Saturn, the Saturn Firdaria will not be especially joyous years. (And so it goes for each of the others.) [May 21, 2010: Oh, dear gods, I was right the first time, I think. I think I did begin my Jupiter Firdar on my last birthday. The reason it's hard to distinguish from the Saturn-Moon sub-firdar is that my Jupiter rules both my Saturn and Moon, which are conjunct in my Jupiter ruled 12th house. And there were events which would reflect malefically, according to my Jupiter placement. I'm so upset by this. I was counting on things getting better once my Saturn Firdar ended and my Jupiter one began. But when Jupiter rules a 12th house Saturn Moon conjunction, it just isn't going to get so much better, I guess. My Jupiter also rules my Ascendant, and is in a poorly received sextile to my Sun and Mercury (they are in my 8th of crisis and loss) and there have been unhappy events relating to my body and health (Mercury rules my 6th of illness, among other things). My Jupiter is in the 10th - so here we have an excellent example of how a 10th house Ascendant ruler, Jupiter, is *not* fortunate. Also, events occurred this year to afflict my reputation, although *I* have been the victim - there is where the 10th house influence is seen. I guess the reason I'm confused by the tables is that my Mercury, afflicted natally, is steadily degrading due to a number of factors. I'm not sure I have any hope left now at all. All this is compounded by 2010 being a "3" year, with consideration of my discovery regarding numbers last year. I had said I was going to write an article about it, but then I thought it would only be more crap for other people to start dreading in their own lives, although the numbers are individualistic, so "3" is not bad for everyone, but it's horrible for me. I think after a certain point, ignorance is bliss, so I never wrote the article.] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And, since, if you are here, you are just passing some time, why not visit my music room and listen to a few of my songs. I don't have many of my songs on the page, but they are offered freely. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Test Me! Check out my entries of April 9th, and 15th, see if I'm right! I'm putting a redundant copy here so there will be a file that predates any sorts of events I am bold enough to forecast. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- August 27, 2010: Have I shocked you? I have been avoiding the news, since the 2008 elections. It was when I began checking the news, to see if my forecasted dates had been right, that I began seeing things I could not believe were happening. Iran is building nukes, and it seems your messiah is fine with it, for his own obvious reasons. And those of us who find it upsetting that an Islamic Center is to be built, with money from radical Islamists, with an Imam who does not think Hamas is a terrorist group, at the location where part of one of those plane/missiles crashed into another building, and that they named the project for their takeover of Spain some 6 to 700 years ago, are *intolerant*, and Nancy Pelosi asks, who is funding those who protest! I ONLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT IT! IT'S DISGUSTING! THE ENTIRE WESTERN WORLD IS BLIND & INSANE! And I am dead pissed off by ALL OF IT. Then there's the matter of food stamps and Medicaid being cut... by DEMOCRATS! (Just as Clinton was involved in screwing Social Security "cost of living" increases so that it is not nearly adequate to live on.) This is an emotive projectile vomit which I only wish were literal and landing right in the faces of ALL the politicians. Oh, and let us not forget that massive monument to mediocrity, and unofficial policy-maker for people EVERYWHERE, OPRAH WINFREY, ATTENDS THE CHURCH OF JEREMIAH WRIGHT, yes, the SAME hateful, racist Jeremiah Wright that your messiah scuttled away from like a rat from a sinking ship, while he was on his whirlwind campaign for Magical Savior! My dear God, how I wish the people would choose a nobody - just anyone who is a decent human being, and en masse do write-in votes for their nobodies all across the land. My heart is broken by this world. The more I find out, the more disgusted I become. I loathe Republicans, yet Fox News is the only channel actually questioning a lot of this crap. And I think, at this point, after Johnson, and Carter, and Clinton, AND your current shiny happy says-he-only-needs-one-term messiah, with the wife who jaunts off to SPAIN, spending millions of your dollars, while your job, IF you still have one, is hanging by a thread, I loathe the Democrats So Much More. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- August 27, 2010: I'm relieved to find that the references to my article about yods was removed at some point from Wikipedia. There were phrases taken directly from my article, out-of-context, and without my consent. I thank whoever edited the Wikipedia description and removed my material entirely. Now that there is no need for me to appear respectable, I'm at liberty (as much as one can be in this country) to say whatever I damn well please about anything at all. So, why don't I just ask my fellow 'mericans how they're enjoying the newly visible stages of Islamic takeover of our country? Aren't you glad you voted for a treasonous piece of shit, whom I begged you to no avail to avoid like the plague? I'm so glad you're still glad. If you're not glad, shame on you! You must be a bigoted, rotten racist! Who is FUNDING YOUR DISAGREEMENT? WHO IS PAYING YOU TO DISLIKE OUR MESSIAH'S FOREIGN & DOMESTIC POLICIES? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- August 22, 2010: Isn't it strange when you forget it's your birthday? I only just remembered today is mine (I've been up all night). I've had a lot on my mind, and I've been ill since Tuesday night with something that almost feels like I ate bad eggs, eggcept I didn't eat any that I know of. I already know this Solar Return sucks. I enter a 5th house Profected Year, which you'd think would be fun, except one must look at what the lord of the natal 5th is doing in the Solar Return. In my case, my natal lady of the 5th is being annoyed by Mars via conjunction - that, in my chart, Is Bad. I don't even like looking at charts anymore. I never see any hope in them. I don't want to do readings for anyone because they usually only look for a reading when their life sucks and I don't want to have to give bad news. I don't think I have a talent for that sort of thing anymore. The earth spins on; the evil people thrive, and the good ones wither. That certain 21 year old I once knew... well, she sure had life pegged, but she still had questions. I figured them out for her, and she's glad of that, but she's still trying to figure me out. I guess she always will. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- August 16, 2010: I'd have a better feeling about my life if it had ended 11 years ago. But then, it would have taken me 11 years to be certain of it. (Not really - I knew I was doomed when I was 21, and I placed a time capsule thought in my head, on the slim chance I lived this long. I won't tell you what it was but, boy, did I used to be smart.) And at my (private) most-up-to-date crisis, I watch Woodstock on TV and get a striking new perspective on who I started out to be (and she's still alive, somewhere), and whatever in hell I've become. Nevermind that. There are 3 things about the film that struck me for the first time: 1) There *was* one guy who *did* look good in an earring: Country Joe (of Country Joe and the Fish). 2) Jimi Hendrix' rendition of the Star Spangled Banner is jaw droppingly brilliant. (Just after "rockets red glare" he launches into the guitar screaming, and distortion, the war, you know, and after "bombs bursting in air", he brings in choppers, and Taps, and more and more, and I am wondering how on earth I never heard that before.) 3) There's a chilling, heartbreaking scene between the music I can't bring myself to specify. You won't know which one I mean. Other than that, a mostly brilliant film which is only 70 hours too short. Other than that, everything I'd love to tell you about is unprintable. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- August 4, 2010: Well, my doomsdates of January 29th and 30th weren't entirely spot-on, but they weren't entirely spot-off either. The catastrophic wildfires in Russia alone, which is even poorer than the U.S..... well, you know. Yes, we're in a Mercury Retrograde shadow, but I swear things start to go wonky even before Mercury slows down. It's like those TV Emergency Warning alerts, where whatever they're warning might happen soon, already started 6 hours ago. I haven't much else to say or, if I do, it's unprintable. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- July 14, 2010: Modern gadgetry is convenient, but all those people who used to say technology was evolving so exponentially that virtually anything would be possible (even before) now, were wrong. The latest iPhone? Please. Who really wants to have a video call if they don't really have to? They were predicting video phones in the "near future" when I was a kid, which was almost a million years ago. And they probably could have produced crude models back then, but realized no one was really going to *want* it. It's just a novelty. When you look like hell, which for most of us is all the time, the last thing you want is a video call. But the cell phone itself really has become a necessity. It can simplify emergencies, help with tele-commuting from work, etc. I just wonder why it took them so long. Otherwise, what else is there besides computers. Blu-ray, which supercedes the regular DVD which supercedes VCRs (hey, I liked those!)... iTunes, which supercedes CDs which supercedes cassettes and cassette players/recorders (hey, I liked those!) and vinyl (hey, I liked vinyl!)... Maybe the only innovation I can really appreciate is a car that can parallel park itself. I wonder how many more lifetimes I'll have to wait until they've invented the sonic shower. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- July 11, 2010: If I had to design a life so horrible for myself, why couldn't I at least have been gay? Women are at least understandable to me, and can be so much more thoughtful. [Insert any phrase which basically means "men are impossible" here.] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- July 5, 2010: Looking back over what I've written here since February, it seems to me that my writing is not always clear or easy to follow. It could be that there is so much sub-text that I've left out, that what is there is not very clear. Or, that I'm battle-fatigued, and I'm also getting older, and I'm almost always very sleep-deprived. My writing used to take on an organization of its own, in the process of writing. It doesn't seem to, these days. I know people who would say "stop fighting the abuse." What does one do instead, become a willing victim? I'm not a willing victim and I'm not exactly fighting; I am just trying to survive it. I've kept trying to escape the abuse, and it's only gotten worse. I thought the remedy was to stop the abuser, but I don't have the resources necessary to do that. Yet, I have to try to escape it again - during a bad year for me, and at a bad time in that year. I wish I had gone west. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- July 4, 2010: Happy Independence Day, to all of us stateside. Here's a thought: the matter of which your body consists is older than the USA, older than dinosaurs, older than the first plants and insects, and older than the first single cell life forms on this planet. How old are you? I think my favorite actor is Steve Buscemi, which is fortunate because he seems to be in almost all the movies I see. Great face on that guy - he can play everything. I had an odd dream today (I'm still in the place with the sex offender adjoining my walls, who controls when I sleep - don't ask - it's a nightmare situation, but I'm praying I'll be out before the end of this month - I need a witness to prove it to the cops and there is no one I know here, and I don't have the money to hire someone), about an astrologer I'm acquainted with whose prediction came true. There was a lot more to the dream, but I forgot it. This was the first dream that I've remembered which hasn't been a nightmare about being locked back up in the madhouse. (Like this apartment isn't one, and all the shit holes I've been in since 2007?) [***] I've been having recurring nightmares about being locked up again. (I haven't had recurring nightmares since the '80s, and those were not the result of PTSD.) So much for "Independence Day." I wonder when it will really be. [*** For the record, here's the timeline: August or September 2004 - spring 2005, shithead upstairs from me (single male) flooded me with fraudulent magazine subscriptions and deliveries of "collectibles" because he thought my music was too loud. I had already stopped playing music in the apartment, except for one ambient CD which every visitor said he couldn't possibly hear. He also stomped on my ceiling regularly. I turned off the ambient CD and tried not to breathe for 6 months because everytime he heard anything, he stomped on my ceiling. January 2007 - April 2007: Shithead in adjoining apartment (single male) began waking me in the middle of the night because I complained to the janitor that the noise he made in the early mornings was waking me. (And I thought *that* was bad!) (April 2007 through June 2008: I was living in a place where I had freedom to play music but, unfortunately, drug addicts and drunks hung out on the grass outside my bedroom window all night. No one was messing with me intentionally, but it was not a good place for sleeping, again, and I was still desperate to find that elusive thing called a QUIET PLACE.) June 2008 - December 2008: A group effort, consisting of a twat building manager, and 4 single males adjoining my apartment... each of whom worked a different shift driving a taxi... (And I thought *that* was bad!) December 2008 - September 2009: A master achievement in criminality by a landlord (single male) who was in and out of my apartment and terrorized me in numerous ways. (Another of the ones who also took my stuff.) September 2009 - now: After a cross-country blind move, from the week I moved in, shithead in adjoining apartment (single male, like the former, without a job) began by controlling my sleep, escalated to a sexualized format which goes on all night, plus... The thing is, being tortured is not new to me. I grew up with it. But I was never locked up before. When I was a kid, I never spoke about it. The horror is in the complete disbelief I met with when I tried to tell, starting in 2008, up until now, and then being locked up *because* I told. How much more horrifying could it get? To be honest, if I didn't know me, I would take all this skeptically, too. Not so much what I reported happening in this place, but in combination with all the other places - it does sound too incredible. I blame the POS shrink I'd been dealing with since July 2004. I think he told them I was delusional. He had never believed what was happening in the last building, before I moved here, and he's a chronic liar, and liars often have difficulty distinguishing between truth and lies. If I talk much more about him I'm probably going to vomit, so I'll just say I'm glad to know he's been building quite an interesting little hell for himself, too. Beyond not believing me, which I'd already been through with the cops regarding the criminal landlord I ran away from, the true horror is in having been locked up, because I was NONviolent in word and deed, and never said or did anything to indicate I was a danger to ANYONE. Yet, they still hauled me off against my will, and locked me up. (And can do it again.) Now, since I've begun having recurring nightmares, and since I've been afraid to say much of anything, I've been re-thinking what my response to this should be. I'd like to note that throughout most of this time period I've discussed, I did have t Pluto cross my Ascendant, and then get to, and hang onto, the antiscion of my Ascendant. I know an awful lot of astrologers who dread that transit like the plague. For good reason. The good news is that I'm the vehicle through which a lot of scum are building their own hells. No one escapes the evil s/he does. I'm not clear at this point whether this is bad karma of my own, or a voluntary gig. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. Sending scum to hell is worthwhile however it gets done. Do you know what hell is? It's multi-part, because the universe is infinite in wisdom. The part I like best is when the scumbag experiences everything its victims suffered in every possible way. (And don't ask me how I know this. I just know. It sort of has to do with my chart, and what it has taught me. Of course, the shitbag shrink would call it delusional thinking.) ***] --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- June 24, 2010: I've known for a while now that the numbers 3, 6, and 9 are POISON for me. This morning, I did a number inventory of all the supposedly decent shitholes I have had to literally escape from the past 6 years. Sure enough, every single one of them prominently featured the numbers 3, 6, and 9! The ONLY PLACE THAT DIDN'T, which everyone told me was unsafe, was the only one where I actually was safe. But it had a crappy kitchen, was crawling with roaches the first 3 weeks, and I began my stay there under traumatic (the normal kind) of circumstances because that's where I was brought when a fire in the first place caused everyone to have to be evacuated. So, idiotically, I thereafter moved to a "safe" building... (that was 7 moves ago). I've decided to try to get an apartment in one of the unsafe, with horrible reviews, places here BY THE NUMBERS. As long as there is no 3, or 6, or 9, or any combination thereof, I will move into a freaking crack house. Maybe I should write my article on numbers. It is not really similar to any sort of numerology I've looked into before, so it might be worthwhile if it saves anyone else the absolute nighmare I've been in (and am not yet out of). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- June 24, 2010: Looks like I'm going to be homeless soon. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- June 22, 2010: Happy Belated Summer Solstice. I have a feeling this is a summer most of us will not forget. It seems important to write what I've possessed as personal knowledge for a long time. The truth is that whatever your life is, good or bad, it really doesn't matter at all. When you are stressing about debt, or work, or anything at all, if you could only shift your perspective to dimensions which aren't (meant to be?) apparent to us here on earth, and saw the whole big, vast, entirety of existence, and stages of existence, on earth, and elsewhere, you would feel such relief, such calm. Maybe not so much if you are being tortured, but even then there is the full consolation of knowing that so much joy will come to you, eventually. (And to your torturer(s), none at all for a very long time.) We're here to improve ourselves. To learn and to grow, and always in the direction of love. It's important to do as little harm as possible, which again is difficult because no one finishes without having at least accidentally killed a few insects. We hurt the feelings of loved ones, etc., etc. But if that's about the speed of your harm setting, you are in good shape, and you do have that joy which is indescribable (especially from where I'm at now) waiting for you once this journey ends. For the deliberate harm doers and predators, the very opposite of joy is waiting. Isn't that nice? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- June 15, 2010: I have such a creepy feeling about where I currently live. Yesterday, the phone rang, I picked it up, and it was a recorded message saying a teenage boy (along with his name and full description) "may be at risk", and may not have "taken his medication" and to call the city's police department if one sees him. Huh?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So a kid was obviously having a bad day and everyone in this creepy town gets a phone call? Excuse me, but it is not as if he were in school with an AK-47. The lousy rotten Pluto in Virgo generation who are now in control of the country are so damned fucking anal it makes me want to puke. Everyone who isn't shiny/happy must be given "medication" - *poisons* that cause brain damage, but who cares as long as the non-shiny/happy appear to conform in terms of "behavior". When I was a teenager, kids weren't force fed "medication" and if we were having a really bad day, we skipped school to deal with it, and no one but our parents were called about it, by the school principal or counselor. This world I'm living in is so narrow and suffocating and sterile. Are you living in the same world as me? Do you not see what has happened over the past 35+ years? If you don't see it, you are sleeping. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- June 11, 2010: I've never understood "money", but I have been reading a bit about gold and silver. I did beg you over a year ago, I think, not to sell your physical gold. I was right. The price of gold has increased since then and even when it goes down, it will still be worth more than paper money. If you were to sell some of your gold jewelry, the paper money you'd be getting for it buys so little now, whereas physical gold and silver has been in such high demand, there is very little of it left to support/back the economic structures of the world. In a worst case scenario, your physical gold could mean survival. In any scenario, your physical gold never truly depreciates (unless they finally find a way to synthesize it). If you watch TV, you've seen the commercials begging you to "sell" them your gold and silver. You are much better off hanging onto it. I now sort of suspect that some of those buyers supply the government. Physical gold is worth something like $1200.00 per troy ounce currently. If you have a few pieces of 14 karat gold jewelry, you'd need about two troy ounces worth since 14 karat gold is roughly 1/2 total gold content. (18 karat gold is about 75% total gold content.) My point is, don't sell your gold. There has been a run on it like crazy (silver, too), and it is believed that of all the physical gold held by the government, it is sort of in hock, because the government is in such mind boggling debt. If you were to sell your gold jewelry, and get $2000.00 for it, how much would that paper money actually buy you? Unless your expenses are incredibly low, it isn't going to buy you much at all. Hang onto the precious metals. My gut tells me that's the right thing to do. Oh, and don't "invest" in gold (or silver) stock - apparently, there is very little chance that there is any physical gold in a vault backing up that stock. Same as with sterling silver, if you don't have any gold jewelry (I have some silver, but very little gold, and I even lost an earring, one of my very few bits of gold, during a rushed evacuation - still pissed off about that). And if you don't have any silver either, it's still all right: If there is a worse case scenario, it seems to me that something I saw in a movie last fall could work pretty well (the movie was made during the Great Depression, after the huge stock crash), and that is the barter system, where people exchange services and skills instead of paper money. It beats pushing a wheelbarrow full of paper cash around, and then picking a scapegoat and slaughtering them, right? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- June 6, 2010: Always remember that the laws of nature apply to homo sapiens. Any wounded or isolated creature is *prey*, but when it comes to our so-called species, the intentional and needless cruelty of predators is boundless. I don't believe these predators have souls. I believe they contain, instead, an astral shadow of sorts. Unfortunately, I believe now that the soulless outnumber the ensouled. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- May 24, 2010: Wow! I just saw the whole "Lost" finale event. At first, I thought the filmed commentary of the cast, etc., was all there was, and the writers had pulled a fast one, and last Tuesday's episode had been the finale. Then I looked at the guide, and there really was a finale coming... I have to applaud ABC. I've never before seen a show get this much air time in a send-off, especially when ratings have actually gone down. And the finale was excellent. They did leave a lot of unanswered questions, such as how long Hugo was guardian of the island, and so much more... But the main gist of the finale was very fittingly 1970s - that love is forever, and never lost. Remember, it was in the '70s that astrology began coming back, and the better principles of the 1960s gelled in the mainstream consciousness. The 1960s were sort of like the initial plane crash (the lengthy Uranus Pluto conjunction), and the 1970s were like the survivors working towards common goals. Maybe. I think I finally began crying when Sayid found Shannon, although it's hard to pinpoint; I just know that the show was feeling a little too maudlin until I actually did begin to cry. By the finish, I was wondering where I could get the Kool-Aid and why hadn't they sent me any. It was probably the 2nd best finale after Star Trek Voyager's finale, which I rank as the best. Or maybe it was even a tie for best. Kimmel's "Aloha to Lost" was excellent because of great cast members being there, but I still wish the entire cast had been there and that it had lasted another 4 hours, at least. It's possible the writers know a little astrology, as Kate admitted to being a Gemini when Claire asked her if she was one, and Ben sulkily let slip, "What do I know? I'm a Pisces." And both characters are excellent examples! Well, it was a fantastic show, and the finale was great, and I'm glad they left it as they did. If they'd explained everything, it would have defeated the point that life, and art, are mysteries that we never fully understand, until maybe at last we do. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- May 21, 2010: Although my brain is apparently rotting, I've been wondering if the recently heightened terrorist stuff is only a smoke-screen, and completely staged. Doesn't it all just seem a little too pat? The guy leaves a van which is apparently rigged to explode, then boards a plane, is caught before take-off, and gives so much information that he remains in the nightly news for weeks... It just doesn't seem credible. It seems like a stage play, meant to distract the populace from something else, and also to manipulate the populace into uniting against a common and *external* enemy. I know I'm cynical; my biggest surprise during the Watergate era was that people were surprised by Watergate. And I do worry about terrorists. But somehow, I'm just not convinced of the authenticity of the recent "terrorist attempt". It's like a comic book. The BP oil spill, on the other hand, is a true disaster. So are many other things, which are not *external*. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- May 18, 2010: "Lost" is really feeling the whole Saturn-Uranus-Pluto t-square. It has been so heartbreaking I almost dread tonight's show. But, it has been emotionally real, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate the surreal quality of the show, because life in general is very much like being lost on a freaky-weird island (and I feel so sorry for those who think this life is all there is). That said, I theorize that everyone on the island will die, that the first reality becomes obliterated, to be replaced by the happier one in the alternate universe. I couldn't help noticing the parallels between Hugo, and the young Man in Black. Both started as innocents. But if Hugo doesn't intentionally kill anyone for the rest of the series.... well, nevermind. I've suspected Jacob of skullduggery for a while now. So, we finally have seen that he is the one responsible for corrupting his smarter, more responsible brother, by throwing him into that weird stream of light thing, which turned him into the smoke monster... It's very clear the writers will leave a lot to our imaginations, because there's no way they can explain everything in the last 3 episodes (and if they could, it would be disappointing). --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- May 2, 2010: Dear Reader, Well, there has been one attempted terrorist attack so far, in the U.S. (that we know of). So, yes, the combos leading up to late July are in play. Everynight on the news there are fires, and other explosive or incendiary incidents, so we will see what will be. Chicago wants to implement martial law. I really hate to say I told you so (if you read this page before I gave it a major overhaul last autumn, you'll know what I mean - I'm self-censoring, now, but I'm not lobotomized). I offer my regrets for not answering any emails I've received. I've really been circling the drain since my Saturn Firdar began, many years ago and, on this final set of spins, I'm just holding on, and that's all I can do. If you are a good person with a diurnal chart, I very much hope your natal Saturn is in excellent shape, so you won't have to go through such a rough patch during your many Saturn Firdar years. Gail -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- April 20, 2010: Okay, so on tonight's episode of "Lost", Kate was looking a little less zombieish - but it's just not been like her to sit around and mope. Claire was looking slightly less zombieish too, so is zombiedom on "Lost" sort of a curable disease? Jack jumped off the boat because now he's turned into the real John Locke or something, and Sun and Jin were finally reunited. But *what* is Desmond in the alternate universe? One minute he's falling in love with Penny, and the next, he's doing a hit-and-run on alternate-real Locke. Then he's leading Claire to a fateful appointment with his and alternate-Jack's lawyer... Nothing seems very coherent to me right now, but there seems to be less humor in the show. Even island-Sawyer's cracks about Lapidus don't bring a smile. So if the smoke monster was Jack and Claire's father, was it also the horse Kate saw, and that polar bear? I would bet that Sayid didn't kill Desmond in the well. Aside from all that, I have no clue how they're going to end this. Speaking of incoherence, regarding the show, "V", well, a priest, a lady cop, and a lizard walk onto a fairground, and the priest says... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- April 15, 2010: Dear Reader, If it seems as if my dire warning regarding July 29th has already started, well... yes, it sort of has. I missed the fact that Saturn and Uranus are opposed, and t-squared widely by Pluto. Hence, earthquake in China, volcanic eruption, plane crashes, and even today's "tea parties". I'm not sure if we're going to get a breather due to the slow Mars, and Rx Mercury, and Rx Saturn. This is not the time to start a new business, plan travel, have spinal (or heart, or brain, or oral, or anything on your head) surgery or procedures, sign a loan or lease, or expect successful repair work. In fact, it's not a good time for anything at all (except failure, I guess). I'm not entirely sure if there will be major catastrophes on July 29th, but it's certainly a date to watch out for. Transit Uranus is also on Scheat, which is a very malefic star. Gail -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- April 13, 2010: Maybe it's the Saturn Pluto square, but "Lost" has taken such a gloomy turn since the episode, "Sundown". We've seen so many characters turn into zombie people... most freakishly, Kate. It's still fascinating, but one almost dreads what's coming next (art imitating life again?). Looks as if Desmond were almost the Jacob in the alternate universe (but why would he work for Widmore?). Well, the whole show is baffling. Fantastic, but baffling. So now the characters in the alternate universe are confused by deja vue's in the other (alternate) universe, and happily at least finding the joy of love (except we all know "romantic love" is mere infatuation which is soon enough replaced by revulsion and regret, but this is Disney, and the same old fairy tale media that's constantly shoved down our throats, after all...). [This is why Saturn exalts in Libra, because Saturn knows that real relationships/love have more to do with staying power, time, and friendship, than with how hot anyone looks in a pair of jeans. Saturn also knows real love involves hardship, heartache, and eventual loss. Why else do the marriage vows end with "til death do us part" (and don't forget about the "poverty, and sickness," either). And that goes for all relationships (Libra), not only marriage.] I was disappointed by Richard Alpert's backstory. I imagined him being on the island since Egyptian antiquity, thousands of years ago. Instead he's only a couple hundred years old. Big deal. But, "Sundown", the episode in which "Lost" began to get creepy, was stunning to me. And horrifying! But, still, stunning. Since then, things are just getting depressing. But that's all right. Art forms reflect the stars which inform them, and we are certainly spiraling down, as sure as the "Thing" pushed Desmond down the well. The only innocent in all this seems to be Hugo, which is hopeful since he's now leading the little group who won't join the "Thing". There are so few shows left. I hope the finale will be good. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- April 9, 2010: Dear Reader, Glancing through my ephemeris, I noticed we have a very malefic configuration on the World Axis around July 29th. It occurs after a Solar Eclipse and, usually, I'd look for an inner planet to set off the degree of the eclipse, but with the involvement of Mars, I think it's already malefic enough because Mars is usually the primary inner planet trigger for disasters. Since we're talking Mars, Saturn, and Uranus, we'd expect more of an explosive disaster, so rule in major disaster(s) such as catastrophes involving mass transit vehicles; possible devastating fires; possible terrorist attack(s); possible assassination(s) - things which are inherently violent, or explosive, or fiery, and involving airplanes or technology, or surprise attacks. [And if you have anything at 0 degrees Cardinal in your natal chart, don't panic! Just take precautions, such as staying away from vehicles, being careful with anything explosive, and possibly having your gas oven or furnace, etc., checked for safety, and eating foods which don't require cooking, for a few days. You can probably think of other precautions, based on your unique chart. I doubt it will be an especially good day or days, but you will most likely live to tell the tale.] Please prepare accordingly, if that's even possible, although hopefully I'm wrong. Also, Mars is still slow, having recently gone direct after its lengthy retrograde, so Mars is still problematic, as are any planets or luminaries in Aries (and Scorpio), and Capricorn (the exaltation of Mars), and Cancer (the fall of Mars, and Taurus and Libra (the detriments of Mars) - this combines this month with the Mercury retrograde (including any planets or luminaries in Virgo, Gemini, Pisces, and Sagittarius) to create larger problems with all things ruled by Mars and Mercury, and the Saturn retrograde (including any planets or luminaries in Capricorn, Aquarius, Cancer, Leo, Libra, and Aries), which will deny lasting fixes to current problems. In other words, we're in a mess, and 'it' might just literally blow up on July 29th. So, despite what advertising campaigns would have you believe regarding a 'world without limits', the *only* thing which is limitless is human incompetence and evil. In every other way, we're just about ham-strung. Gail ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- April 7, 2010: Dear Reader, As is common with an afflicted Saturn during one's Saturn Firdaria, the list of misfortunes just gets longer and longer. I won't describe the latest one but the sooner I can move, the better. Doesn't it amaze you how non-astrologers will cheerfully acknowledge that "it never rains but it pours", and *still* be skeptical of astrology, which explains WHY? Hah. By the way, Saturn can be afflicted by harsh aspect from Mars, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto, ALSO via dignity (weakened by detriment, fall, or lack of essential dignity), and by house placement in some cases. For example, it's never good to have a 12th house Saturn, even though that is his House of Joy. The reason the 12th is Saturn's House of Joy is because it allows him to be his most malefic through the inability of the possessor to consciously know what he's getting one into - remember, Fate? Saturn is the Classical Lord of Fate, and as I mention on another page, fate is that which remains subconscious/unknown. Fate is *not* synonymous with serendipity... We are heading into another Mercury Rx and are already in its Shadow. The usual precautions apply. Also, Mars is still slow (in the Shadow of its own lengthy Rx), so expect bad things from all Mars related stuff, and don't trust any planets in the signs or exaltation of Mars until Mars is back to normal speed of motion - they won't deliver well, and this lasts for several months. Your erstwhile survivor of many bad things, Gail ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- March 26, 2010: Dear Reader, In light of recent events I've suffered, I feel like writing about the "Pluto generations" and the great Ages a bit. The main problem is that a generation's, or an Age's, influence is never obliterated, but rather built upon from the previous ones. And, the problem with that is while technology races onwards, what we term "human nature", and the average human intelligence, does *not* change. We are as barbarous a species as we ever were, except now we're being distracted by "must-have's" like iPhones, and HD TV, etc. And humanity spins on happily, or at least as it always has, ignoring peak oil, laughing at global warming, destroying natural habitats, and warring at every possible juncture. And when killing is too socially dangerous, cunning predators harass the most vulnerable, namely, single women who live alone, especially if they are poverty-stricken due to disgusting cuts in (here, at least) Social Security, done by so-called Democrats, the so-called people's party, which is nothing close to a sufficient living income, and is not secure at all. Women and our "rights": The Pluto in Cancer generation gelled nicely within the complementary Age of Pisces. The role of women was strictly defined, and women had very little personal freedom, but slightly more than they'd had before. The Pluto in Leo generation gave women a little more freedom for about five minutes, but we all know it was only so men could get laid easily for free. Nevertheless, there were brave women who spoke about that, and presented women with the idea of going for a career instead of only a marriage. Women have always worked, except at the level of aristocracy in centuries past. It was only for a short time in the 1950s that the whole "housewife" thing came into fashion, and it was because men returning from war needed the available jobs, the country needed more sons for cannon fodder (there's *always* a need for cannon fodder), and the U.S. economy was stable enough for a family to live on a single income. So, the feminist idea of pursuing a career was nothing new, it was simply the sorts of careers girls and women were then being told they *could* pursue. This delighted the Pluto in Virgo generation, because Virgo loves to be useful, and women seem to especially need to be useful, and not just as a matter of "honor" as it seems to be for men who consider themselves to be primary breadwinners. Okay. So, what is the problem? The problem is that now, women have gotten so many mixed messages as to what they ought to be that the only solution is absolute perfection (Virgo). Yes, must have a job (in any case, because the economy has crashed), but must also be the alluring sexual kitten (Leo) and the good wife and mother (Libra). So, cosmetic surgery, mandatory skinniness, puritanicalism to the point of eating disorders (who ever heard of eating disorders in the 1950s?), deathly fear of tran fats (but not the SUV's fuel emissions?), mandatory job, mandatory marriage (yes, we are back to that with the Pluto in Libra mess), and mandatory babies, of course, with even pregnant teenagers ignoring the utterly sane alternative of abortion. Now, if you are a woman who does not fall into any of the above categories (you're supposed to be in all those categories), you are in trouble, baby, because all you did was take a 60 year walk around the block and now you can't even get old, because that's a crime, too. My hope? That the Pluto in Scorpio generation will blow the whole mess to smithereens. But what will probably happen is only an intensification of this whole perfection crap. It might take the Pluto in Sagittarius generation to introduce the concept of freedom again for another five minutes. (By the way, the Age of Aquarius ain't gonna be good for *anyone*.) Mucho-Fire type woman, marriage-shy, and worried? Pop out a kid if you're still young enough - that buys you a little credit in this "society". The more you conform (to what some metaphysicists term, "the herd state", as outlined above), the more freedom points you get (yep, it's cRaZee, all right!), but you'll never get the real thing because it's been taken off the menu. Yours in utter disgust, Gail ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- March 7, 2010 Dear Reader, In addition to antiscia, the Firdaria, and sub-Firdaria, and sub-sub-Firdaria (and so on), are very important, after you become comfortable with understanding a chart fairly well. These Firdaria are promittors; that is, they indicate the time periods during which the chart material is promised, or destined, to unfold, yielding events for good or ill. So, when you have a transit and/or progression which lack(s) the expected punch, it's a good bet that the reason is due to the sub-Firdaria you are in - it just isn't meant to happen (at least, not with so much impact) until everything locks into place, which is why I'd better soon get into profected years, too. My Saturn Moon sub Firdar sure let loose, and if you knew my chart and were good at basic, Classical chart reading (because Modern-Mainstream is a wishy-washy blur), you'd know exactly what happened, so far. That's how close astrology is to a science (as well as how True Solar Arc Progressed angles work just like the hands of a clock over the lifetime!). It is a science. (Okay, okay, and it's an art. The thing is, I appreciate things which have clarity and certainty rather than things which are muddy and wishy-washy.) Muddy might fly on canvas and in music, but it's awful when we're practicing astrology. So do look into Firdaria. There may still be some info on them at Robert Hand's web site, but there's sure to be info elsewhere, too, such as at the amazing skyscript.com. Get a table which includes at least the sub-Firdaria, and compare those with your own life experiences - especially combinations of planets in the sub-Firdaria which you have in aspect in your own chart. This stuff *is* thrilling. After all, aren't we unlocking, and more importantly, understanding the mysteries of our lives? Gail --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- March 5, 2010 Dear Reader, We are in the aptly named month of March (for Mars, Lord of Aries); in your part of the world, is it "coming in like a lion"? We shall have to see if it also goes out like one (Sun, Lord of Leo (the lion) is exalted in Aries). This month, I want to remind you to remember antiscia! It would have been more timely at the winter solstice, but there are so many holidays in December and, as I've noted, I've been very busy living my very strange chart. Antiscia, also called Solstice Points, are vitally important. The best way to explain them is to tell you they are mirror images of signs and degrees. So, let's suppose the chart is a two dimensional map with Aries rising and equal houses. If one folds the chart vertically, inwards, down the central MC/IC axis (which has 0 Cancer as IC and 0 Capricorn as MC), Aries is in direct contact with Virgo, Taurus is in direct contact with Leo, and Gemini is in direct contact with Cancer, and so on. Are you following so far? It's very easy. So, a planet at 4 degrees and 20 minutes of Libra, has an antiscion of 25 degrees and 40 minutes of Pisces. Understand? Those two points are mirror images of each other. Now, when a transit, progression, direction, or synastric planet or angle or Lot is antiscion something in a given chart, we consider that to be a conjunction, and it acts like one. Contra-antiscion might be more of an opposition in its effect. We also consider the Equinoctial Points (the map folded inward horizontally) the same way. March 9, 2010: OOPS! No, we don't. [I feel like I just served you a fly in your soup.] The Equinoctial Points are basically the points which SQUARE the antiscia. And as soon as I figure out that I'm wrong about that, I'll post another update. [Just an aside, but if you are a truthful person, aren't you amazed to find out how much trouble it brings? I don't mean by way of being tactless, even though that's sometimes the case, but in situations where it is much more to one's advantage to lie, you openly and trustingly tell the truth? I was not given the gift of guile. I think the reason telling the truth is so dangerous is that A.) Everyone else is pretty much adept at lying and do it constantly, and B.) People are morons. Except, of course, for you, who, if you like me, are neither a liar nor a moron - just hiding out in a cave someplace, presumably.] [Hey! I mean it! If you like me, let someone know about it! Geez, what I go through in life. You do NOT want to be born with Sag rising, Jupiter in LyeBra in the 10th, and a 12th house Moon Saturn conjunction. Next time 'round, just scratch that right off your menu. If Monty Python had been astrologers, they'd have done tragi-comic skits about it.] So, now, as you ponder why events take place with no apparent trigger, LOOK AT THE ANTISCIA! :-) I'll be writing more on this, and other, thrilling topics, in the days to come (I hope). And, listen to Monty Python's "The Galaxy Song" and try to smile. [Do I ever follow my own advice? Maybe I'll let you decide.] --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 22, 2010 Here's a tip for those who suffer from tension headaches. (It's something I learned from my Wilhelm Reich-ian therapy.) If you press in just the right area of your eyebrow... gently move your finger along your browbone; there will be an area just above, very close to the inner corners of your eyes, but above, on your browbone area. With your fingers, very gently press until you find the area where, when you lightly press, it hurts. Press just there for about ten seconds, stop, wait, then repeat. The pressure should be gentle, but firm. What you are doing is pressing on the muscles that are probably responsible for the excruciating headache, and forcing them to relax. I hope this little trick is helpful to you; it really helps me a lot so it seemed like a good idea to pass it along. In fact, if you do this regularly, chances are you will suffer far fewer headaches, so it's also a great preventative measure, and good for your soul, too. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 19, 2010 Since things are looking rotten, I'm grateful for escapist stuff which looks better. There's another vicious reality TV show on, having to do with clothing designers and models, competing for prizes. It's a good idea, but I don't care for the whole elimination nonsense, or the pro-wrestling tactics of keeping a particularly nasty model (she's ugly, too) on the show, or for the really nasty producer, and the annoying judges. I never watch reality TV; I just happened to see this because "Medium" wasn't on. Here's what they could do to improve the show: have a panel of ordinary women, of all ages, shapes, and sizes, to judge, and additional ordinary women of all ages, shapes, and sizes (yes, up to a 5X, damn it!), to model. For the first time in history we might see what real women actually want to wear, rather than what gay guys, and size 00 has-been models, think we should wear. We would actually get designers to face the unique challenges of making women of all shapes look good (because that just isn't what you ever see happen). There would be no eliminations, which are needlessly nasty, and several sartorial categories, such as casual, formal, and everything in-between. Then whoever the winners are in each category would win prizes (such as a fashion spread in a fashion 'zine). Doesn't that sound nice? This is what I'm driven to when they don't show "Medium", and I'm still up. (Sorry I was snarky about Patricia Arquette - I'm still a fan, and the writers' Mercuries were probably getting hit by many of the key named asteroids of my life. [Yeah, right.] Or something.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 15, 2010 Dear Reader, astrology is wonderful. It helped me understand the root causes of what I've had to endure for quite some time, now. Unfortunately, because I think many of us are blind when it comes to our own difficulties, I understood it at a crucially wrong juncture. Currently, the man who lives adjacent to me, across walls made of paper, has been torturing me since the night I moved in. He makes repulsive grunting, and other, noises whenever I try to go to sleep, and again to wake me up, at any time of his choosing. (And yes! I use ear plugs!) He has a lot of audio equipment, amplifiers, and microphones. Today, the landlord went all "Mr. Hyde" on me (because I'd called him in a state of hysteria again, last week), after I'd received some very bad news yesterday. But, the bad news aside, the strange thing is that last Wednesday night it was perfectly silent for falling asleep, and waking, and silent again on Thursday night, for awhile. On Saturday, the man, who lives alone with no visitors and is always here, received a visitor, who sounded like a female police officer, who spoke to him at length, and I heard someone moving about, close to the paper wall. It is fairly likely that the landlord clumsily "checked to hear" whether the man would make any noise, or the man received a call from police, or social services. The man is aware of my every footstep, from room to room; can hear my quiet phone conversations, knows where I am at all times. He is evil, but extremely clever about not getting caught. This was why *I* could not have the police *here* to see for themselves - the noise they'd make would ensure that he'd be absolutely silent. The landlord doesn't particularly like the man but, apparently, likes me even less. He would rather I leave (which I have to do anyway), than evict a hostile, evil tenant. Well, maybe he is afraid of the hostile, evil man - the evil one screamed him down like a banshee the first time I called the landlord for help. I guess that's it, then. The landlord is afraid of what the evil man might do, whereas I am harmless. The landlord has a problem, even if I do, by some impossible miracle, leave here in the way that might dissolve the astrological affliction I've had for the past 10 years (which has been no one's fault, or if anyone's, only my own), the evil hostile man is having the time of his life, and with this taste of it, he will find ways to continue his evil on others, after I've left. It's a no-win situation for the landlord, if he does not evict the evil man. Yes, I have made dozens of recordings of the noises he makes, but they are obscured by static, etc. He can only be heard very faintly, and not in the real life volume or sequence of noises. This is due to a number of factors - my recorders are cheap junk, and he projects his voice from different directions, which they can't pick up, and if I change the direction of the recorder, he immediately stops, because he hears me sit up (the floor isn't the optimal place to put the recorders, and I sleep on a futon on the floor). He frequently projected his voice from the building entrance, under the "living room", where I've mostly been sleeping. Sometimes he projected his voice so that it sounded exactly next to me. There are a few holes in the kitchen door around the window, which was made in December (not sure, but they weren't there when I moved in), which I think he is using as a portal from which to project his voice. The people upstairs have heard him but, in torment, I have loudly said bad things, so they will not confirm to anyone that I am being tortured. (They told me they heard him, when I thought it was one of them, and I had gone up to talk about it - we talked outside - two of the three family members (the parents) said they heard him.) Now, I'm not sure if astrology will be able to free me from this nightmare. I know what I have to do, but I have no money to do it. I know that I am so strong in the way of endurance, that I could face an attacking army (and I am) and still survive. But if the reason to survive is only "to fight another day", which is what I've been doing all my life,... I have been thinking about these situations as 'Jung's projection concept' of my own shadow. The issue that Jung couldn't accept is the possibility or reality of determinism. You see, I am extremely well acquainted with my Shadow content. I've encountered it in my dreams, and elsewhere in my inner space, and it's hideous. According to Jung, knowing my shadow should prevent these sorts of victimizations. But that is not the case. The reason, if you know my writing throughout the past few years, is that I believe in determinism (or predestiny). If the only way to avoid victimization is to become a perpetrator, there is no way I would do that. But even Jung doesn't advocate that. He thought that simply knowing one's shadow content would end the projections. The reason it doesn't is predestiny. I, and you, and everyone, will suffer predestined miseries, whether we know our shadow content or not. But yes, there are ways to work around it, once the cause of the projection is understood within the chart. At that point, one can try to avoid the people and situations one is predestined to suffer, either via relocation, or clear thinking. The clear thinking, and the understanding, *at the proper time*, is the hard part. At least for me. If I had understood the root cause a year ago, or even three months before it finally clicked into place in my mind, I think I would have been freed of this nightmare. At least for a while. So, you see, I think there is hope for anyone in a nightmare situation. The trick is to pinpoint the root causes, and sometimes they have a lot to do with the synastry between you, and those close to you. If a loved one's chart placements aggravate an affliction in your nativity, then it is necessary to relate in a different way which does not affect the natal affliction. I hope I'm being clear. I'm not saying you should sever ties with your loved one whose chart aggravates your affliction, but to change the dynamic of the relationship so that the loved one has nothing to do with the areas of life ruled by the natal affliction. Gail ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- February 11, 2010 Dear Reader, The single most important achievement of the 21st Century so far has been the TV show, "Lost". It is so fascinating - nothing comes close. Swept away would be an understatement of how I felt the night of the final season's premiere. Speaking of TV, I've been a fan of the TV show, "Medium", and its star, Patricia Arquette, BUT, I have just seen another rerun of the episode, "Joe Day Afternoon", and I did not appreciate the coincidences in it - call me a paranoid fool, but I had some very unflattering material on this page about all the sun signs for several years, and additional mentions of Patricia Arquette, and all the material they needed to spook me was right here on my web site. So I ran Patty's chart and was horrified to see that her Sun NN conjunction is exactly conjunct my natal IC (in my Death Yod), PLUS more, and she was born the same place I was, but many years after my birth. There was another movie, many years ago, on cable, which had a character in it too similar to me for comfort. The only differences were that I wasn't a blond, nor a murderer. But I would like to murder whoever made that film. (No, thankfully, I don't remember the name of it - I never felt more exposed and horrified - that also was linked to my birth town, etc., etc., but the character was me, only to the 10th power - I have no doubt whatsoever that whoever was involved in it knew me.) The reason I say this is that I do have a particular and unique problem, which probably everyone who knew me from school, etc., would have noticed, and the female character in that movie had the particular problem (and somewhere in the movie or credits, the town where I was raised was mentioned). Anyway, in that "Medium" episode, she speaks quite sharply to the character named "Gail", when being gentle with the character would have been much more appropriate. So, I'm no longer sure I'm so much of a fan anymore - the whole thing creeped me out. Anyway, she confirmed what I'd written about "AirMees"; get this, she made one of her husbands withdraw his petition for divorce so that she could then file for one! If that isn't AirMees... plus, she gave her daughter a ridiculous name, and her Venus is conjunct Scheat. So there. I think I should listen to "Travelling Tragition" now, and try to smile. (apparently, still) Gail ("You're only paranoid if it doesn't happen.") ------------------------------------------------
Someone accused me of advocating a
metaphysical view of "slow suicide". Nothing could be further from the
truth. We are born into this world, and expected to LIVE
in it. That's kind of the whole purpose of being incarnate. Maybe I will write just exactly what I do
believe, at some point. But for the moment, I am writing to let
you know that I've been in a different area of the country since
October, and not incarcerated or hospitalized.
:-) I just haven't felt like writing.
Moving is always very rough on me (natal 4th house ruled by a Mars in
Taurus which not only hates change, but, due to its involvement in my
Death Yod with Saturn and MC/IC, also tends to have a paralysing effect
when I am faced with major change, especially moves). So, I have been silent on this page, while
slowly understanding, via media, the interesting ways in which media
play a part in social control, and how effectively it works on the vast
majority of the populace. I believe this has to do with a lot of
things; politics, but also the pull of the Piscean Age to not give way
to the Aquarian Age. I can deal with the Piscean Age in
moderation, but when it's as extreme as I'm seeing it now, it's almost
horrifying. It almost makes me want to welcome the Aquarian Age
(and if you are familiar with my views from this page before, I'm sure
you see the sad humor in that). The transiting Saturn Pluto square has a
lot of people feeling a sense of doom in the air. Oh, by the way,
'member when I warned you never to buy a car during a Mars
retrograde? Have you heard of the Toyota and Honda car
recalls? 'Nuff said. And when did the news break?
When Rx Mars in Leo opposed, by sign, Sun in Aquarius (Aquarius is the
Sun's detriment). Fascinating. So, take care, and all of that. Try
not to live in a state of dread. Listen to "Travelling Tragition"
by Tyrannosaurus Rex; it will make you smile. For the moment, (still) Gail
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I wish you peace, good fortune, and, of course, good health.
Gail |
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| All Rights Reserved; Gail Sandra Klein | ||