ROTFLMAO
11. TJ
"Be quiet! Do you want to get us all killed?"
Darcy turned around to see the person who had pulled her aside, and would have bolted away if she had the courage.
She saw a humanoid lizard thing. She saw a humanoid lizard thing that had big sharp teeth. She saw a humanoid lizard thing with big sharp teeth and yellow reptile eyes. She saw...
"Aahz," the thing said, smiling in what she hoped was in a reassuring way.
"Aahz?" she meeped.
"No relation."
"No relation... to what?"
"Never mind. My partner Skeeve is trying to fetch your boyfiend. He already took care of most of the guards. I just hope Gleep doesn't get in the way."
Almost as if summoned, a small dragon, around four feet high and ten feet long, green with blue eyes and what appeared to be a drooping white mustache, bounded past Darcy and Aahz, treating the grunge guard as if he was a bowling pin.
Carrying Darcy as if she was a bag of groceries, Aahz rushed after Gleep. "Finally, that dragon comes in useful! I remember that time in the Bazaar..."
Aahz and Darcy snaked along the back alleys of the Cyber City, neon signs glaring like a bad rip-off of "Blade Runner." Too bad I lost that D-Hopper, Dimension Hopper to you lady, when we were trying to escape Queen Hemlock. From the look of things, we just escaped from a Neurocitizen. They are this cult of people who have read "Neuromancer" and the works of William Gibson one to many times, and have exhiled themself to this dimension. Skeeve, Gleep and I accidently fell thru a portal as we were trying to make a getaway from Queen Hemlock, who was itching to make Skeeve her husband.... By the way, you don't happen to have a D-Hopper on you, do you?"
"No," Darcy exclaimed. "But I have a toilet!"
Aahz wrinkled his nose.
"Who has a toilet? This guy sure needs one," a voice cried from behind them. Darcy jumped, wriggling herself from Aahz's grasp, and aimed at the voice with her Love Gun. She fired. "No!" Aahz bellowed. "That's my partner, Skeeve, you are messing with!"
Aahz knocked the gun out of Darcy's hand, but the damage was already done.
"You... you are the most beautiful woman I have -ever- seen," the gangly youth in a brown robe said. "I have never seen anyone more.... exquisite! More lovely," Skeeve continued. Skeeve, the wizard, approached Darcy slowly. Behind him, the magically levitating body of Zor the mighty, Zor the powerful, Zor the recently un-neutered, floated unconciously. Zor had just discovered he had a glass jaw, but wasn't able to appreciate this discovery. Zor, the mighty, had fallen with one punch.
Darcy, from the planet Pink, backed away. Zor, formally from the planet Ken, opened his eyes.
Aahz buried his face in his hands. "That's another fine myth you got us into," he moaned to Gleep.
"Gleep!" replied Gleep.
(Tip of the Pen to Robert Asprin and the "Myth Adventure" Series.)
12. Gareth
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